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Constructive Wallowing

How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them

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Constructive Wallowing

By: Tina Gilbertson
Narrated by: Kimberly Mintz
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About this listen

Constructive wallowing seems like an oxymoron. Constructive is a good thing, but wallowing is bad. Right?

But wait a minute; is it really so terrible to give ourselves a time-out to feel our feelings? Or is it possible that wallowing is an act of loving kindness, right when we need it most?

Almost everyone loves the idea of self-compassion. The notion that maybe in spite of our messy emotions and questionable behavior, we really aren’t all that bad. In recent years there’s been an explosion of books that encourage readers to stop beating themselves up for being human, which is terrific. Unfortunately, readers who aren’t interested in Buddhism or meditation have been left out in the cold.

Constructive Wallowing is the first book to cut right to the chase, bypassing descriptions of Eastern philosophy and meditation techniques to teach listeners how to accept and feel their feelings with self-compassion for greater emotional health.

It’s tempting to turn away from menacing, uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief, or regret; however, ignoring them just seems to make them stick around. By learning to accept and embrace, difficult feelings, listeners keep their sense of personal power and gain greater understanding and ultimately esteem for themselves.

©2014 Cleis Press (P)2014 Cleis Press
Personal Success Psychology
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Clarity, wisdom, guidance

Great book, veey simple, straightforward and answering most of the questions that are coming up while listening. Amazing guidance and the content feels aligned with and doesn't make me resist the advice.

I generally liked the pacing of the reader, but I prefer when they stay more neutral, without so much of a performance and emotional emphasis. I don't mind adjusting the tone of voice to the content but here there were moments when it felt too much and too much vocal interpretation.

Would be great if Tina could read he books herself as her voice and pacing is just perfect for inaking the content!

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Helpful book. Not very well narrated.

I’m 2/3 through this so far.

For a long time, I’ve recognised I have a problem with tolerating and processing emotions. I often google things like ‘I feel empty all the time’, and I’ve sometimes wondered if I’m broken and beyond repair…

I’ve had a lot of struggles with depression and anxiety, and usually freeze up under stress. This book is helping me become more aware of my responses to difficulties in life (I.e. I feel really angry because of that jerk at work. I hate them!). Previously, I’d shut down any negative emotions because ‘anger is bad’, etc.

Some emotions feel bad, but it’s really only actions and behaviours that can become problematic. A lot of angry people landed themselves in prison because of their poor choices but pretending emotions aren’t present doesn’t lead to a good place.

I have a lot of work to do, but I’m going to make an effort to express my emotions better - even if that means in a diary or talking aloud to myself. If emotions are held in, you essentially suffer for a very long time and become unable to connect with other people.

Anyway - the narration kind of lets this down, so I’d recommend the physical book over audible on this occasion. At one point, the author makes a point that Wallowing = allowing emotions to pass through. Clearly, this becomes ‘W-allowing’ when written down, but the narrator butchers this in the audible format… it’s frequently quoted throughout the book, and every-damn-time, the narrator pronounces it as ‘Wuh-ollowing’. Instead of saying the word ‘Truth’ (which is an acronym for an idea’, the narrator repeatedly spells out T.R.U.T.H… it gets annoying fast.

Lastly, the audio recording isn’t up to scratch. The volume doesn’t remain consistent, and you can tell when the narrator took a break between recordings.

Overall, this seems to be a good book for those who struggle to know what they’re feeling (and how to deal with it). But the book would be much better in standard format due to the disappointing narration.

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