Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
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Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
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Narrated by:
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Lucy Paterson
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By:
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Kristen Bailey
About this listen
It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right?
I wake up, bleary-eyed.
It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days.
We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. "Ouch," he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his back.
Then, a light comes on in the landing. Small footsteps creep down the stairs. A little voice screams, "Is someone coming to make breakfast?!"
All hope of having some "alone time" is replaced with wondering if we’ve run out of Cheerios, thinking about the overflowing laundry, and remembering that I forgot to take out the recycling. Again.
Just a typical Monday morning for the Morton family...
Except today, when I go downstairs in my dressing gown, I find something. Something belonging to my husband. Something that definitely wasn’t in the wedding vows. And it’s either going to make us...or break us.
An utterly hilarious and unmissable novel for anyone who has ever felt like they spend more time washing the dishes than getting lucky. Fans of Why Mummy Drinks and The Unmumsy Mum, and rom-coms by Sophie Ranald and Sophie Kinsella, will ugly laugh at this gloriously funny and relatable listen.
©2020 Kristen Bailey (P)2020 BookoutureListeners also enjoyed...
What listeners say about Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jaye22
- 20-12-20
Laugh out Loud
This story had me laughing from the get go, my husband must of thought I was mad considering he was watching something dreary on tv. A seemingly normal household going about their daily life when something well let’s call it a adult toy, arrives in the post. From that moment onwards there are questions, misunderstandings and then when the real truth is revealed there is a whole other scenario. I laughed from start to finish.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Sarah
- 11-06-20
Not bad,
The story was ok - a few chuckles along the way, but not really my cup of tea to be honest. I’m not going to slate it as I think this was just a case of me choosing the wrong book for my personal taste, it wasn’t badly written. Be careful who’s around when you listen, there are lots of detailed descriptions of peoples downstairs bits and bobs and what they do with them. It veers towards mummy porn here and there, but there was no need to deploy the smelling salts! Lucy Paterson is a fantastic narrator - I particularly love her depiction of drunk ladies, very accurate and very funny! There was however, a bit of an issue that, as a northerner, I found pretty distracting. Narrators certainly can’t be expected to know the intricacies of every single accent, but haway bonny lass - Kendal definitely isn’t a toon in Tyne and Wear pet!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Em Yarnell
- 07-01-21
Absolutely hysterical and brilliantly written
I loved the plot and didnt see it all unfolding the way it did. The characters are brilliantly written and the relationships are complex and diverse. I like that the story has a lighthearted and very realistic apporach to some very difficult subjects, life fmaily expectation, social perceptions and pressures. It's incredibly well written with great pace and I found myself dipping into it whenever I had a spare minute or two. I laughed a lot and it was a very cathartic book and very uplifting given the times we are living in. I was recommended this by my mother in law who said I simply had to read it and she wasn't wrong!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 03-10-20
very good read
I loved this book I laughed out loud many times think that the book is great loved it
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Mike S.
- 23-11-22
Disappointing ending.
The ending was disappointing. The humour of the earlier chapters was erased by the sad ending. I like my endings, including my sexual ones, to be happy.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- jhanami
- 10-03-20
Excellent narration, sweet story
Contrary to other reviewers I didn’t really find this laugh out loud funny and hilarious throughout - it has its comical moments and I certainly enjoyed listening to it (the narration by Lucy Paterson is top notch), but I found some of it quite sad.
The middle-aged marital angst, the lying husband, the parents who don’t understand their son’s unhappiness - those are all pretty serious elements.
Overall the story was quite sweet and warm-hearted though with a very interesting cast of side characters - definitely not for the prudish listener ;)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nicola shoebridge
- 17-04-20
Good light hearted entertainment
This book was great for some light hearted entertainment during a worrying and stressful time (Covid 19). The characters were well played and the story was funny and heartwarming
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lauz
- 28-11-22
Hilarious
A great listen, very funny and lighthearted. Definitely a nice break from reality. Worth a listen
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Skye's Mum
- 21-03-20
Hysterical, family life.
Well this book really cheered me up, such a great story too.
Perfectly narrated with great accents, I have recommended it several times to friends who want a laugh and a great story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Polly R
- 27-06-20
Absolutely brilliant, funny and heartwarming
Best book so far. Couldn't stop listening and didn't want it to end. Thank you.
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