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Regretting Motherhood

A Study

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Regretting Motherhood

By: Orna Donath
Narrated by: Mandy Kaplan
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About this listen

Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the possibility that the opposite might also be true - that women who have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked off. She asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden by rules governing motherhood, time, and emotion, including the cultural assumption that motherhood is a "natural" role for women - for the sake of all women, not just those who regret becoming mothers.

If we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence and shame these women; rather, we need to ask honest and difficult questions about how society pushes women into motherhood and why those who reconsider it are still seen as a danger to the status quo. Groundbreaking, thoughtful, and provocative, this is an especially needed book in our current political climate, as women's reproductive rights continue to be at the forefront of national debates.

©2017 Orna Donath (P)2018 North Atlantic Books
Gender Studies Motherhood Relationships Sociology
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Critic reviews

"Donath breaks open what she describes as an 'unspoken taboo,' bringing the notion that women regret becoming mothers into the public discourse with her latest research....The most valuable elements of the book are the different perspectives provided by the interviews, which reflect a striking amount of self-awareness (and, often, suffering) from women who have otherwise largely kept silent." (Publishers Weekly)

"Forthrightly feminist ... Donath's study fills a gap in discussions of women's lives and choices. While it will undoubtedly be a hard pill for many to swallow, it is also a necessary one." (Foreword Reviews)

"Donath carves out a much-needed space for these women to share, in their own words, stories about how they got to where they are, and how they manage now. Mixed in with these interviews is analysis by Donath, who expertly examines and questions the structures of a capitalistic, patriarchal society that not only contributes to women finding themselves in this position, but also prevents them from speaking about it. Many have never heard sentiments like the ones shared by Donath's interviewees - and that needs to change." (BUST Magazine)

What listeners say about Regretting Motherhood

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Insightful, honest and necessary

This is the first time I’m reviewing a book before financing it. Very well written, interesting and an excellent insight.

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A revelation!

Any young person who has ever had or received the question "do you want kids" should read this. super insightful, honest, raw and gives a perspective to regretting parenthood that is not often talked about.

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This is a grest study!

If you have the slightest doubt about becoming a mother you should most definitely listen to this book before taking a final decision.

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loved it

This book was just wonderful reassuring for me to stay childfree and i feel so seen after listening to this book

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Profound!!!!

Brilliantly written by Orna Donath, well narrated by Mandy Kaplan. This subject I found very interesting and one that should be talked about much more. Don't just have kids because everyone else are having them, ask questions etc

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Simply Brilliant

This book consolidates the point of view that has been traditionally prohibited by society, but that exists in a large part of women today. This undoubtedly constitutes an educational material that gives voice to those human feelings that until now had been ignored, accused, and exiled with shame for no fair reason.

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