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This Ragged Grace

A Memoir of Recovery and Renewal

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This Ragged Grace

By: Octavia Bright
Narrated by: Octavia Bright
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About this listen

I kept putting myself in danger, and I couldn't make it stop. It rarely felt like a choice, though, of course, in some ways it was. It's only the death drive, my dear, Freud would likely tell me, if I lay my body down on his carpet-covered couch. Everybody needs a little oblivion. Besides, what is the fantasy of the knight on a white charger if not an abandonment wish? A desire to be rescued from your own life by a story. But if addiction is rooted in the will to forget, recovery is an act of remembering - a slow reconnection with the parts of yourself that slipped out of reach while you hungered for escape.

This Ragged Grace tells the story of Octavia's journey through recovery from alcohol addiction, and the parallel story of her father's descent into Alzheimer's. Looking back over this time, each of the seven chapters explores the feelings and experiences of the corresponding year of recovery, tracing the shift in emotion and understanding that comes with the deepening connection to this new way of life. Over the course of this seven-year period, life continues to unfold. Paths are abandoned, people fall ill, waters get choppy, seemingly impossible things are navigated without the old fixes.

As Octavia moves between London, the island of Stromboli, New York, Cornwall and Margate, each place offers something new but ultimately always delivers the same message: that wherever you go, you take yourself with you.

©2023 Octavia Bright (P)2023 Canongate Books
Addiction & Recovery Biographies & Memoirs
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Critic reviews

"An extraordinary, electrifying book about loss, chaos, addiction and death, and the wild work of staying tender in the face of it." (Olivia Laing)

"This Ragged Grace examines the fragility of the self in exquisite detail. Generous, compelling, poignant and ultimately, life affirming; Bright has managed to capture the complexity of being human." (Heidi James)

What listeners say about This Ragged Grace

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Drew me in

I think this is a brilliant piece, delivered a bit too slowly - I found the slow delivery a. bit. irritating. and remembered too late I could have sped it up a notch.

I thought I might have found the description of her father's dementia too hard to listen too, but infact this was the part I 'enjoyed' the most.

The author deliberately kept descriptions of why she gave up drinking to a minimum but without a few more it was hard for me to get a full understanding of the person she'd been pre-recovery.

Having said all that - it's a great book.

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A beautiful work

A beautiful work read memorably by the author herself. It was transporting and thoughtful, gentle and intense - all at once.

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moving and insightful

This was a great listen. Octavia takes you with her on a moving and insightful journey through her sobriety in tandem with her father's Alzheimer’s and declining health. It's beautifully narrated and leaves you with lots of food for thought, traversing an emotional journey with sensitivity, intelligence and wit. It's wonderfully written and explores, with great success, what it means to find yourself and lose a parent, whilst being carefully interwoven with interesting and pertinent artistic, philosophical, and artistic ideas.

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A piece of writing to be treasured

Deeply affecting, searingly honest, beautifully written and so very well read by the author. I’ve also bought the print version as I know this is a book I’ll revisit again & again.

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Brave honest vulnerable, every one can gain from this work!

Thank you for sharing this. You write/narrate beautifully. This brave, honest, vulnerable account with your insights has given me so much, not least a sense of some of the wisdom gained from this part of your life’s story.

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Exceptional work

This book is one of the most powerful and beautiful works I have ever read, Thank you to the author.

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Like a college essay

I couldn't find a story within the descriptive writing. It was just a long list of descriptions without much substance. I was really looking forward to this book but I just didn't get into it at all. She needed to scale back on the descriptions and get stuck into what was actually going on.

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