Episodes

  • 037: Colorado Family Law: Understanding the Role of a CLR in Custody and Parenting Cases

    037: Colorado Family Law: Understanding the Role of a CLR in Custody and Parenting Cases
    Jun 16 2025

    In this solo episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista, a Colorado-based family law attorney and child advocate, breaks down her structured approach to serving as a Child’s Legal Representative (CLR) in high-conflict divorce and custody cases across the state.

    Krista shares her 11-step process for advocating on behalf of children during some of the most complex and emotionally charged family law matters. Drawing on her experience practicing throughout Denver, Boulder, Fort Collins, and Colorado Springs, she guides listeners through the process of how CLRs are appointed, their interactions with families, and how they contribute to shaping child-centered solutions both inside and outside the courtroom.

    From initial appointments and home visits to therapeutic collaboration and final court engagement, Krista explains how an active, negotiation-based model empowers children to have a voice while protecting their well-being. She also compares the CLR role to other evaluative processes used in Colorado family courts, including CFIs and PREs, highlighting the benefits of real-time engagement and ongoing problem-solving.

    For parents, attorneys, and professionals working in Colorado family law, this episode offers a clear and practical guide to what it means to truly represent the best interests of the child, with a process that’s informed, intentional, and deeply rooted in trauma-aware advocacy.

    In this episode, you will hear:

    • How courts appoint a Child’s Legal Representative (CLR) in Colorado
    • Why earlier CLR involvement can lead to better outcomes for families
    • A detailed look at Krista’s 11-step CLR process, from start to finish
    • The value of active negotiation over passive observation in high-conflict parenting cases
    • The difference between a CLR and roles like CFIs or parenting evaluators
    • Strategies to support children’s voices in parenting time disputes
    • How Colorado-specific forms (JDF 1319/1320) initiate the CLR appointment process

    Resources from this Episode

    www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com

    All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.

    Follow and Review:

    We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

    Episode Credits

    If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • 036: The Split Films’ Ellen Bruno: Giving Voices to Kids of Divorce

    036: The Split Films’ Ellen Bruno: Giving Voices to Kids of Divorce
    Jun 9 2025
    In this moving episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista welcomes acclaimed documentary filmmaker Ellen Bruno, the creator behind the powerful films “Split: The Early Years” and “Split Up: The Teen Years.” These documentaries feature a cast of real children who had experienced divorce of their parents, with purely their voices and artwork, no experts, no therapists, no adults – just the kids. Split featured the kids when young; Split Up then followed up with the same kids 10 years later, reflecting on how divorce had impacted them as they emerged into late teens and young adulthood. The films give incredibly powerful insight every parent going through family law dynamics should watch, as well as any professional in the family law arena. The film is raw, honest, and deeply impactful. In her conversation with Krista, Ellen shares the personal journey that inspired her to create Split, which began after her own divorce when she heard her own child and others in carpools from school discussing issues of divorce and the lightbulb that went off in her head that she could use her filmmaking to give voice to the voiceless and shine a light on the impact of divorce on children She had already spent much of her career in humanitarian work and international filmmaking attempting to give voice to many different people groups, with films focusing on issues at the forefront of human rights. Ellen began her relief efforts in remote Mayan villages in Tabasco, Mexico. She worked in refugee camps on the Thai-Cambodian border with the International Rescue Committee, in Vietnamese boat camps with The Refugee Section of the American Embassy in Thailand, and as director of the Cambodian Women's Project for the American Friends Service Committee. With a masters degree in documentary film from Stanford University, she is a recipient of Guggenheim and Rockefeller Fellowships, a Goldie Award for Outstanding Artist, an Alpert Award for the Arts,an Anonymous Was A Woman Award for the Arts, a Shenkin Fellowship from Yale University School of Art, and was an Artist-in- Residence at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, among many other accomplishments. Krista and Ellen explore recurring themes from both Split films, including identity shifts, the emotional cost of “two homes,” and the unspoken pressure children feel to take care of their parents. They also highlight how parents, legal professionals, and mental health practitioners can utilize the films to gain a deeper understanding of the child’s perspective—and why it matters so much. Ellen shares, too, the potential for another film following up yet again with these now-adult kids and/or their parents, a possibility Krista encourages. This conversation is a true gem for the podcast and a must-listen for divorcing parents, co-parents, attorneys, and anyone who works with families. It’s a powerful reminder that small choices can create lasting change and that truly listening to children can transform our approach to divorce. In this episode, you will hear: The emotional cost of silence and shame in divorceWhy kids need space to share their experiences without adult interferenceThe impact of small co-parenting gestures, like family photos or shared eventsHow the Split films help parents and professionals re-center on childrenA reminder that divorce doesn’t end in six months—it’s a lifelong transition Resources from this Episode To purchase the “Split” films: https://www.splitfilm.org/family-purchase-options/https://www.splitfilm.org/ Contact Ellen Bruno: info@splitoutreachproject.org www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    1 hr
  • 035: Choosing Your Child’s Therapist with Child Custody Expert & LPC Christy Bradshaw Schmidt

    035: Choosing Your Child’s Therapist with Child Custody Expert & LPC Christy Bradshaw Schmidt
    Jun 2 2025
    Choosing a therapist for your child often feels daunting because it’s an important decision in the divorce process. Today’s guest offers invaluable advice on what to look for in a therapy professional. On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes child custody expert and Texas-licensed professional counselor Christy Bradshaw Schmidt. Christy has served as a private child custody evaluator since 2003, having completed more than 600 evaluations for families. She also serves as a private consultant and expert witness in family law matters like constructing parenting plans for kids less than three years old, relocation, reunification, and parent-child contact problems, among other topics. Christy is also a leading voice in helping therapists understand boundaries in high-conflict cases, the appropriate roles of mental health professionals in family law matters, and why selecting appropriate therapists for court-involved families is critical. Christy is the author of hundreds of articles and presentations surrounding issues related to children and family courts. Krista and Christy begin their discussion by delving into Christy’s journey working with court-involved families. Christy explains the problem with therapists’ training, why nearly all cases requiring child custody evaluations also require therapeutic resources, and her experience with 600+ custody evaluations, with 90% of those including recommendations for therapy. You’ll hear specific ways parents can find the best and most appropriate mental health professionals and why more therapists need to enter this line of work. Krista and Christy cover the necessity of transparency between therapists and both parents, Christy’s process for dealing with parent-child contact cases, and why family law is an incredible career focus area for mental health professionals who can find many satisfying rewards in helping families flourish. Divorce is incredibly distressing for children and families. Involving a qualified therapist can help guide parents to help children and parents cope with divorce realities and meet individual and coparenting needs moving forward. In this episode, you will hear: Christy Bradshaw Schmidt’s journey into working with court-involved familiesThe problem with therapists’ training, fostering fear in working with court-involved familiesWhy nearly all child custody evaluations recommend therapeutic resources to help fix the problemsThe incredible dearth of trained professionals willing to do this critically important work, for example about 25 in the Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas, area, demonstrating the serious issues of supply and demand mismatch for families going through divorce and needing helpSpecific ways parents can find the best, most appropriate mental health professionals by using the right keywords and asking the right questionsThe problems and likely damage parents face when they choose the wrong mental health professionals Why more therapists need to go into this line of workTherapists’ basic training that makes them ill-equipped to do this workHow therapists can obtain the necessary skills to help court-involved familiesThe importance of therapists for the family to work with one another and communicate regularlyThe need for transparency between therapists and both parentsRebuilding and fostering trust between parentsEthics considerations for therapists involved with court-involved familiesWhy mental health professionals should testify regarding their work when parents go to court in family law casesThe process Christy would use in a family with parent-child contact problemsWhat other states can learn from Texas, which created rule changes around grieving therapists in these cases, giving them more protection and allowing more therapists to be willing to do this important workWhy Christy believes family law is an incredible area in which mental health professionals can focus one’s career, giving therapists so many opportunities to help families flourish despite the breakdown caused by divorce Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com txfamilylawforensics.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/CV-combined-version-with-CE-5425feb.pdf txfamilylawforensics.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about ...
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    1 hr and 10 mins
  • 034: Transforming Co-Parenting Success Through Effective Training: BeH2O with Trina Nudson

    034: Transforming Co-Parenting Success Through Effective Training: BeH2O with Trina Nudson
    May 26 2025
    Many professionals in the divorce community are beginning to recognize the impact divorce can have on children. Out of that realization, innovative programs are emerging that can help children and families flourish despite a divorce. On today’s Children First Family Law, Krista interviews Trina Nudson, creator of nationally available child-centered co-parenting programs that parents anywhere can access to transform the quality of their co-parenting. Trina first worked as a foster care social worker and later transitioned to a best interest attorney for kids. She recognized that children and parents of divorce needed better solutions to help safeguard childhood and strove to find solutions for change. Trina recently launched her innovative BeH2O program, training professionals across the United States to encourage parents to transform their co-parenting and navigate challenges with resilience and fluidity that overflows to their children, helping everyone flourish. Krista and Trina start their conversation by delving into Trina’s background in social work, what led her into law, and finally, her work as an entrepreneur developing programs to help parents and children flourish post-divorce. You’ll hear about her initial project, The Layne Project, now known as The Layne Project 4 Families, and how that led to the creation of BeH2O, a 16-week co-parenting curriculum. She shares what she means by “safeguarding childhoods,” the various offerings BeH2O offers participants and coaches, and how BeH2O integrates kids into the process. Trina explains why co-parenting requires rebuilding and shares some of her family success stories. Finally, Trina explains the cost of BeH2O and why it can be much more cost-effective than further involving the court and attorneys. Previously, resources for parents who want to co-parent more effectively have been limited, but with emerging programs like BeH2O, parents have more options than ever to improve co-parenting dynamics. In this episode, you will hear: Trina Nudson’s journey from social work to law to entrepreneur, developing real solutions to help divorced parents be the best possible co-parentsHow she helped innovate Kansas courts to better serve children, including through the state's triage system.The suffering ALICE families (asset-limited, income-constrained, employed families) experience with few services available to help them be better co-parents and help their children flourish despite divorceThe Layne Project in Kansas, Trina’s initial effort to meet these needs head-on for decades, now a nonprofit called The Layne Project 4 FamiliesNew solutions to scale her program through BeH2O, a 16-week co-parenting curriculum, with offerings now (or soon) in 14 states, and goals to reach all 50 states within two-and-a-half yearsTrina’s goal to “safeguard childhoods,” and why divorced parents need to do the sameHow BeH2O Coaching offers training through Trina’s competitive, selective program for professionals serving families.Details about how the program works, including integrating kids into the process The program is not “magic fairy dust” but “getting real”Program topics include: effective communication, tools for tough situations, empathy and understanding, commitment to growth, and well-being beyond parentingWhy co-parenting change requires rebuilding, because the old models of parental interaction are obsoleteBeH2O is not therapy and not typical parent coaching, but rather a guided, curriculum-based program Real success stories and transformation for even the most entrenched parentsHow the EOS (Entrepreneurial Operating System) system helps Trina run the programThe cost of attending the program as a professional or parent Resources from this Episode thelayneproject.com/educational-programs/beh2o beh2ocoaching.com tlp4families.org thelayneproject.com/blog www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • 033: Co-Parenting with Respect: Creative Approaches with Jill Reiter and Dr. Shelley Bresnick

    033: Co-Parenting with Respect: Creative Approaches with Jill Reiter and Dr. Shelley Bresnick
    May 19 2025
    When couples split up, animosity and resentment can fester, leaving children caught in the middle. On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Jill Reiter and Dr. Shelley Bresnick to discuss their program, Co-Parenting with Respect, a 10-session curriculum that brings children’s voices to the forefront and delicately facilitates parents learning to be the best possible co-parents. Shelley is a clinical psychologist who has worked with Colorado’s court-involved families for decades as a parental responsibilities evaluator, co-parent educator, and parenting plan consultant. She is also a therapist, working with children, adolescents, couples, and families. Jill is a licensed clinical social worker who received much of her early training with psychiatrists in child, adolescent, and adult inpatient psychiatric units. She has years of experience working with disrupted family systems through the public and private sectors. Jill maintains a private practice in Colorado, specializing in child, adolescent, and family therapy, including parent-child contact problems and parent coaching. Krista, Jill, and Shelley begin their discussion by exploring the providers’ backgrounds and how they decided to partner to develop Co-Parenting with Respect. Jill and Shelley explain how they screen co-parents for the program, the positive impact on children when parents overcome dysfunctional co-parenting dynamics, and how they implement child voice sessions. Jill and Shelley outline the Co-Parenting with Respect curriculum, explain what situations and families the curriculum best serves, how they teach parents to communicate together, and share a couple of their favorite success stories of families who completed the program. Finally, the family law bar and in particular litigation-focused attorneys need to know about their role in the divorce process and the impact litigation focus has in harming families and coparenting outcomes Reframing the co-parenting dynamic is a critical piece of the puzzle following divorce. Shelley and Jill are teaching parents how to communicate and interact so their children can flourish for years to come with both parents. In this episode, you will hear: Jill Reiter’s background in social work and discovery of a passion for work in the divorce and domestic relations realmDr. Shelley Bresnick’s entry into divorce work after completing her Ph.D.The development of Jill and Dr. Bresnick’s Co-Parenting with Respect programHow they screen co-parents for their program, and the impact that domestic violence can have on the screeningOvercoming difficult co-parenting dynamics and the positive impact it can have on childrenThe goal of Child Voice Sessions and what makes them unique.An outline of the Co-Parenting with Respect curriculumTeaching parents how to communicate together, focusing on the children, and the shift that occurs when parents learn these skillsJill and Shelley’s favorite family success stories from their programThe family dynamics best suited for the Co-Parenting with Respect programFinding common ground with which parents can resonate and use to turn their relationship into a business-like relationship that is courteous and puts children firstWhat attorneys need to know about their role in the divorce process and the impact litigation focus has in harming families and coparenting outcomes Resources from this Episode www.coparentingwithrespect.com Jill Reiter, LCSW, is offering the CPR program at the following location: 750 E. 9th Ave Suite 104 Denver, CO 80203 Call or email: 720-810-9910 or jill@jillreiterlcswpllc.com jillreiterlcswpllc.com Shelley Bresnick, PsyD, PLLC, is offering CPR at the following location. 710 Kipling Suite 103 Lakewood, CO 80215 Call or email: 303-601-4983 or shelleybresnick@gmail.com shelleybresnickpsyd.com www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • 032: Family Law Across Continents – A Global Peek at Australia, the US, Japan, Italy, Germany, & Others with Justice Altobelli

    032: Family Law Across Continents – A Global Peek at Australia, the US, Japan, Italy, Germany, & Others with Justice Altobelli
    May 12 2025

    Courts worldwide handle divorce and children differently, and Australia’s system is one today’s guest knows well.

    On today’s episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes Justice Tom Altobelli, a family law judge from Sydney, Australia, who has served as a leader of international organizations focusing on doing divorce better. Justice Altobelli is a former professor at Western Sydney University and has been on the bench since 2006, rising to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia in 2020. In 2023, Justice Altobelli was appointed as a member of the Order of Australia in recognition of significant service to the law and legal education. He is also the author of many books and articles, focusing on children and the law.

    Krista and Justice Altobelli’s conversation starts by highlighting his long career in family law, beginning with his experience as an attorney and then as a professor. Justice Altobelli outlines the court structure differences between the United States and Australia, the evidence rules Australia created for less adversarial court procedures, and dispute resolution rules that have changed since 2006. He explains Child Impact Reports that can aid in the dispute resolution process, the role of Independent Children’s Lawyers, and Australia’s unique process of triaging families based on the circumstances of individual situations. Krista and Justice Altobelli discuss the oddities of the U.S. family court structure and Justice Altobelli’s work in understanding the effect that being caught in the divorce crossfire can have on children.

    The structure of family courts may differ around the world, but Justice Altobelli underscores that people around the world seek to put children first and ensure they aren’t caught in their parents’ crossfire.

    In this episode, you will hear:

    • Justice Altobelli’s background as a former professor at Western Sydney University and attorney in Australia and his experience on the bench as a family court judge since 2006
    • Court structure differences between the United States and Australia and other countries
    • Evidence rules in Australia that create far less adversarial court procedures
    • How these new rules have improved the speed and efficacy of family law cases
    • Dispute resolution rules before 2006, and the change in the importance of mediation
    • The focus on empowering, encouraging, and educating parents to settle cases about their children outside of a courtroom
    • The blending of all issues in the dispute resolution process and the Child Impact Reports that arise out of this process
    • Independent Children’s Lawyers and when they are assigned to a case
    • Triaging cases based on the individual circumstances of each one
    • The oddities of the U.S. family court structure and the influence of the emphasis on individual rights
    • Why children generally don’t come to court in Australia
    • Trends internationally in family law and the commonalities that countries often share
    • Justice Altobelli’s work in understanding the effect of children being caught in the divorce crossfire
    • The reality that fears persist from lawyers and judges regarding loosening evidentiary rules in family law courts

    Resources from this Episode

    www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com

    All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation.

    Follow and Review:

    We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

    Episode Credits

    If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    57 mins
  • 031: How Do I Get My Child’s Voice Heard? Picking the Right Child Advocate in Child Custody Cases in Colorado

    031: How Do I Get My Child’s Voice Heard? Picking the Right Child Advocate in Child Custody Cases in Colorado
    May 5 2025
    Parents often want their children’s voices to be heard during the divorce process. However, how that happens can vary greatly depending on the family’s situation. On this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista explains the “best interests” standard in Colorado and what families can expect regarding their child’s voice being heard in court. She outlines the nine factors Colorado uses to determine parenting time allocation, including considerations of factors used in allocating decision-making in a no-fault divorce state. Krista shares specific situations, such as alcohol or drug abuse or domestic violence, that can elevate a child’s voice in these scenarios, the ideal scenario for parenting time versus what often occurs, and ways a therapist can be utilized in a divorce case. She defines the roles of Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) and Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs), as well as the drawbacks of involving either of them in a case. Finally, Krista explains how you can benefit from a child’s best interests attorney (Child’s Legal Representative or “CLR”) to attempt to curate solutions alongside parents and professionals involved in your case while representing the best interests of the child as an attorney advocate who obtains and considers the child’s wishes Divorce can be messy and traumatic for everyone involved. Keeping your child’s best interests at the forefront and hiring qualified professionals can make the process smoother, making it more manageable for everyone. In this episode, you will hear: The use of the “best interests” standard in ColoradoEnsuring a child’s voice is heard in the court while avoiding an adversarial approach to the other parentColorado’s implementation of nine factors to determine parenting time allocation, including:Parents’ wishesChild’s wishesThe relationship between the child and parents, siblings, and any other person who significantly affects the child's best interestsThe child’s adjustment to home, school, and communityThe mental and physical health of everyone involvedThe parties’ ability to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other parentWhether the parties’ past involvement shows a system of values, time commitment, and mutual supportHow far apart the parties liveThe ability of each party to place the needs of the child ahead of their own needs How no-fault divorce impacts considerations of parenting time and decision-makingAlcohol abuse, drug abuse, and domestic violence, and Colorado’s statute that indicates a child’s voice should have strong consideration in these situationsThe ideal scenario for parenting time versus what often occursA movement in Colorado toward children over 12 years old to become more actively involved in court proceedings and hearings in the dependency and neglect courts but not so much in domestic/divorce courtsWays a therapist can be used in court proceedingsBringing in witnesses to testify to what’s best for the childThe role of Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) in Colorado, their requirements, their cost, and how they can impact the parenting dynamicThe role of Parental Responsibilities Evaluators (PREs), who can do everything a CFI can, plus do deeper analysis including psychological testing of parentsThe downsides of bringing in CFIs and PREsThe benefits of a child's best interest attorney or Child Legal Representative (CLR), who they represent, the requirements they must meet, what they can and cannot do, and what they costA CLR’s ability to curate the right people to work with the parties involved in the caseWhen you should pursue a child advocate and why you shouldn’t wait too long Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    54 mins
  • 030: Incremental Trust Building for Co-Parents: A Challenge from International Expert Dr. Michael Saini

    030: Incremental Trust Building for Co-Parents: A Challenge from International Expert Dr. Michael Saini
    Apr 28 2025
    Co-parents often find themselves at a stalemate with one parent distrustful of the other. Trust can be rebuilt, and returning guest Dr. Michael Saini has some tips on how to do it. On today’s episode of Children First Family Law, Krista welcomes back Dr. Saini, a Toronto-based renowned psychologist who has authored more than 200 publications, including book chapters, government reports, systematic reviews, and a vast number of peer-reviewed journal articles highlighting research in the area of family law and its impact on children. Dr. Saini is a passionate advocate for children’s rights. Krista and Dr. Saini begin their conversation by explaining the importance of establishing boundaries around trust and repairing trust violations in the context of a divorce situation. Dr. Saini outlines the research on trust as the number one dynamic for co-parenting success, emphasizing the importance of accepting who your co-parent is and building trust despite any disputes you may have with them. He shares why coming to terms with “good enough” parenting can be helpful, how the erosion of trust can lead to additional conflicts as co-parents, and why the conflict is worse for your kids than getting your way in the fight you’re having with your co-parent. You’ll hear Dr. Saini’s method of using mini goals to rebuild trust with your co-parent, the foundation childhood creates for trusting or distrusting in future relationships, the importance of exposing kids to new romantic partners carefully, and learning to become comfortable with your new roles post-divorce. Finally, Krista and Dr. Saini explain when trust-building models aren’t appropriate and how to figure out what each parent is willing to do to demonstrate their trustworthiness. Trust is a complex and significant topic in divorce, and Dr. Michael Saini’s tips can help you rebuild trust with your co-parent and foster a healthy relationship for your children, thereby breaking intergenerational conflict tendencies. In this episode, you will hear: Building boundaries around trust and repairing trust violationsResearch about trust being the number one dynamic for co-parenting successDr. Michael Saini’s take on viewing trust as a bank account with a positive or negative balance based on experiencesThe importance of coming to a place of acceptance of your co-parent, thinking beyond the dispute, and building trust“Good enough” parenting and not placing your standards on the other parentWhy emotional processing is like an iceberg, because we only see a small portion of itHow erosion of trust leads to additional conflict in co-parentingFor your kids, the impact of the conflict is far more harmful than who 'wins' the argument.Anger and fear as secondary emotions to fearUsing mini goals to rebuild trustChildhood is the foundation for trusting or distrusting future relationshipsWhen conflict is modeled poorly over generations,kids can repeat the same unhealthy patterns rather than learning how to resolve themExposing kids to new romantic partners very carefullyBoundary ambiguity post-divorce and becoming comfortable with new rolesWhen the trust-building models are not appropriate, especially considering the dynamics of violenceWhat each parent is willing to do to demonstrate trustworthiness Resources from this Episode www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com Dickie 2015 Trust and Conflict Resolution - http://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Dickie-2015-Trust-and-Conflict-Resolution.pdf Saini 2025 Trust in AFCC CA Handouts2PP - http://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Saini-2025-Trust-in-AFCC-CA-Handouts2PP.pdf All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. Follow and Review: We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Episode Credits If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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    1 hr and 10 mins