Narcissists are like chameleons. They change in appearance as much and as often as they need to get what they want but underneath it all, they are very insecure and sneaky and always up to no good. They don't check in because they don't stick to being one particular person.

If you ever feel like you’re in a relationship with someone’s essence and not the actual person, this could be why. Narcissists are known to be emotionally unavailable, however, not all emotionally unavailable people are narcissists. If you’re married to someone who is emotionally unavailable, fasten your seat belt because you’re in for the ride of a lifetime. People who are emotionally unavailable don’t like to open up about their feelings and they keep things on the surface. One of the biggest signs I missed in my marriage was the emotional unavailability of my partner. After the wedding, he insisted that conversations remained at the surface level. He never said the words but if I initiated or inquired about serious matters pertaining to the marriage, he responded in a dismissive or condescending way. As long as I kept the conversations light, he was fine with that, and he often steered those conversations in the directions of his personal accomplishments. This caused the relationship to feel stifled. Even though this was a red flag to indicate that I may have married the wrong person, I thought that I was the problem, and I needed to wait for him to initiate these conversations. If this takes place in your relationship, it is a clear indicator that the two of you are not on the same page. Discussing things such as finances, starting a family, careers, and intimacy are things that normal couples should be able to discuss; otherwise, there would be no need for a marriage. When I brought up serious topics, he became angry so I would drop the topic and try to bring it up at a later time, and eventually stopped talking about them altogether. If I pushed the issue, he activated the silent treatment which went on for days or weeks . I tried many ways to talk about things and then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that he didn’t want to talk because we weren’t in it for the same reasons. Another thing that happened after the marriage was his usage of the word, Eye, instead of We. There were several times that I had to remind him that it was now Us. I thought it was just a newlywed thing and we just had to get used to each other. After all, we were two people living separate lives prior to the marriage. Needless to say, I was clueless, in denial, or both. Eventually the truth revealed itself as it usually does. Hindsight is always twenty twenty and looking back now, it’s clear to see these were signs of an unemotionally available man. Here are some other signs of an emotionally unavailable person to look for. If you feel like your partner is playing games with you, and constantly making you win them over again and again, that person is emotionally unavailable. People who are emotionally available don’t toy with the emotions of others because they understand that it’s painful, and they wouldn’t want anyone to experience that. Another sign is that they’re uncompromising when it comes to their time. When someone loves you, they look forward to sharing their time with you even if they have to move things around. There are more signs that you should be aware of but I’ll keep this video short and do a separate video devoted to the signs only. If you think you’re with an emotionally unavailable person, it’s a good idea to get to the bottom of things before you invest a lot of time. Time is our most valuable asset and once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. If you enjoyed this video and want to hear from me again, give the video a thumbs up, and be sure to hit subscribe and the bell to turn on notifications, so you'll know when I upload again.

When dealing with narcissists, their behavior can be both confusing and off-putting. Some things in dealing with them may seem somewhat normal. Still you might be surprised once you learn the extent of their behaviors and the true meaning behind your relationship with them. I'll preface this by saying that not all narcissists are the same. These are six surprising things about narcissists that you probably didn't know.

"Introduce a little anarchy." "Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos." Narcissists are agents of chaos. They're constantly looking for ways to shake things up and throw you out of kilter. This could mean anything from creating confusion with co-parenting plans, to deliberately showing up for a meeting with you at the wrong time. Any catalyst will do. The goal here is to create confusion, wait for you to react or try to fix it, then blame you for everything that has gone wrong. When the blame is placed on you, your natural reaction is to become defensive.

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