Episodes

  • Count Infantula's Club World Cup, referee kit launches & goal sandwiches

    Count Infantula's Club World Cup, referee kit launches & goal sandwiches
    Jun 16 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some early Club World Cup observations (including DAZN's motley crew of pundits and co-commentators), an unexpected Nigel Farage-based analogy, barely-audible Andy Hinchcliffe co-commentary in Ukrainian dance music, Kyle Walker's Turkish Super Lig credentials, a double header of football references in audiobooks and the Lampard & Gerrard of darts. Meanwhile, the panel examine the concept of "showing too much of the ball to the defender" and enjoy the launch material for next season's referee kits. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for the Football Clichés Live tour this October: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    55 mins
  • Heavy England shirts, absolute clinics & Club World Cup curiosity levels

    Heavy England shirts, absolute clinics & Club World Cup curiosity levels
    Jun 11 2025
    & David Walker. On the agenda: the half-hearted fallout from England 1-3 Senegal, Scotland's George Hirst mixes up his metaphorical goalscoring relief, why Claudio Ranieri should go to the World Cup, an unexpected exclamation from a South American commentator and cash vs curiosity as the Club World Cup looms. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some elite-level Reddit pedantry and thrash out the definition of putting on a footballing "clinic". Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    56 mins
  • Dixon is the new Lawro, Ange's logical next move & "where the dust mites dwell”

    Dixon is the new Lawro, Ange's logical next move & "where the dust mites dwell”
    Jun 9 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Clichés army react to Dave's big news, Thomas Tuchel enters familiar territory for an England manager, Lee Dixon continues to settle into his co-commentary caricature, Ange Postecoglou and other managers "always welcome back at [Stadium X]", acceptable new-signing adjectives from EFL social media admins, Conor Coady's hyper-logical next move and news of the 2025 Football Clichés Live tour. Meanwhile, the panel tick off the only club in the top five tiers of English football to have never been mentioned on the pod. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    45 mins
  • Vivaldo, the "end to end" threshold & the authenticity of Lionel Messi's pub crisps

    Vivaldo, the "end to end" threshold & the authenticity of Lionel Messi's pub crisps
    Jun 5 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & Nick Miller. On the agenda: the bonus Tom Cruise punditry we all wanted to hear, the traditional opening bell for the England/World Cup news cycle, tracking down the Richard Keys commentary from an early-90s management sim, the unofficial Cristiano Ronaldo classical music night, Dan Walker mixes up Baroque composers with generic Brazilian footballers and the club who are most obviously going to sign Aleksandar Mitrovic this summer. Meanwhile, the panel decide the point at which a game can be described as "end to end" and discover whose name has been uttered the most in Cliches pod history: Keys or Gray? Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase https://saily.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    43 mins
  • Tom Cruise on short corners, VAR at Tesco and introducing... Dreamland

    Tom Cruise on short corners, VAR at Tesco and introducing... Dreamland
    Jun 2 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: US advertising getting the Champions League exquisitely wrong, the suffocating sycophancy of watching the final with David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Tom Brady, out-of-work football managers in basketball novels, 7/10 football debates in Netflix crime dramas, Tesco introduces VAR at its self-service checkouts and a Clichés listener goes above and beyond in service to the podcast. Also, the pod unveils Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience. Sign up now at dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    45 mins
  • Proper clubs & "woke pressing" with the Screen Rot Podcast

    Proper clubs & "woke pressing" with the Screen Rot Podcast
    May 28 2025
    The pod welcomes Jacob Hawley and Jake Farrell - aka The Screen Rot Podcast - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as they choose their six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among their selections are the criteria for being a "proper football club", judging anonymous 5-a-side teammates by the obscurity of the kit they’re wearing, referee bias when the ball is being kept in the corner and the modern scourge of cross-sport tribute celebrations. Meanwhile, the epic search for the commentary sampled in the theme tune to Gazzetta Football Italia comes to a glorious conclusion. Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 31 mins
  • The 100-minute fetish club, Love Actually in Naples, and the ultimate "released on DVD" game

    The 100-minute fetish club, Love Actually in Naples, and the ultimate "released on DVD" game
    May 26 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the art of the double guard of honour, a baffling soundtrack to Napoli’s Scudetto ceremony, England one-cap wonders' names in old episodes of The Bill, Premier League players whose names belong in other sports and the start of what could be the greatest saga in investigative football podcasting history. Meanwhile, the panel ponder which game is the most “have it on DVD and never watch it” game of all time. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    52 mins
  • Marmoush's hat-trick of Etihad gasps, Messi in Mobland & what makes a "shrewd" signing

    Marmoush's hat-trick of Etihad gasps, Messi in Mobland & what makes a "shrewd" signing
    May 21 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Will Still’s inevitable English football unveiling edges closer, the Etihad reaction to Omar Marmoush’s wonder goal, Lionel Messi pops up in Mobland, mid-table Eredivisie clubs in sci-fi novels and some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from Serie A. Meanwhile, the panel decide what makes a signing "shrewd" and hear a story of some overengineered 6-a-side organisation. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    49 mins