Who would you choose to be if you weren’t shit scared about what other people might think about you? Writer and speaker Natalie Lue has noticed that people pleasing is often a response to anxiety.

In this chat with Fearne, Natalie explains how when you desperately people please, you’re putting your self-esteem on the chopping block. In becoming disassociated from your “no” you become disassociated from your needs, desires, opinions, and limits.

Natalie talks through the five ways people pleasing might show up in your life, including ‘efforting’ (e.g. over-achieving at school and work), and ‘saving’ through trying to fix other people’s problems. Plus, a word of warning that pushing past your mental and emotional limits can lead to physical health issues.

Natalie’s book, The Joy of Saying No, is out now.

If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like:

Saying No: More Boundaries, Less People Pleasing

The Good Girl Rebellion

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Do you feel deep injustice at how others treat you? Mel Robbins is an award-winning podcast host and best-selling author; she says if other people want to behave in a shitty way... let them!

In this chat with Fearne, Mel explains the difference between saying “let them”, and letting people walk all over you. She talks about how “let them” doesn’t make your problems disappear, but you’ll see them differently so they’re less distressing to you. The phrase will also make you feel more confident in your authentic self-expression.

Feeling victimised? Stop hoping you can change a bully’s behaviour. Mel also explains how to use the phrase “let me”. Let me recognise what I can change about the situation or change about how I respond. Remember you have the power to leave any dinner table or any message exchange at any point.

Plus, why you should listen to your jealousy; it’s telling you a lot about your desires and ambitions...

Mel’s best-selling book, The Let Them Theory, is out now.

If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like:

The Good Girl Rebellion

Estelle Bingham

TJ Power

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Two writers are competing for the chance to tell the larger-than-life story of a famous reclusive heiress. One of them is going to uncover the truth behind one of the most scandalous families of the 20th century. The thing is, heiress Margaret is giving each writer different tantalising little pieces of her story...

Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry was May’s Happy Place Book Club read. In this chat with Fearne, Emily explains why she’s intrigued by the idea of generational trauma affecting our day to day, and why it’s important to interrogate where your sense of ambition comes from. Is your drive coming from within, or are you trying to prove something to someone?

Plus, Fearne and Emily explore why reading fiction is such a brilliant way to examine your own opinions, values, and moral tendencies through how you react to the characters.

Thank you to Penguin Audio for the use of Great Big Beautiful Life audiobook, narrated by Julia Whelan.

If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like:

Listen to Book Club Meets: Lorna Tucker

Listen to Book Club Meets: Clare Leslie Hall

Listen to Book Club Meets: Holly Bourne

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