BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) effortlessly glided into “Gotit 5”, an empowering world of positivity and unrivalled cuteness, a world where political correctness and diversity, equity and inclusion is woven into the fibre of every being’s DNA.

BOMT reacted by vomiting a bathtub full of rotted raw fish guts and immediately escaped to planet “Steaming Pigshit”, named due to everything and everyone being made from putrid hot and sweltering pig shit. The smell of decaying swine poop succeeded in clearing the air of positivity from BOMT’s lung-like things.

Many of you desire their own arse monkey but doesn’t know how to where to get one. Now – YOU can grow your own arse monkey, even if you don’t think you have the arse for it.

Changing your sex can be an expensive thing, even more expensive if you decide to change back. You can now join the all new Penis and Vagina Co-op.

We review the most exciting theatrical event of the decade. Well, not really the decade: The year. Not really the year: The week. OK, not year: the day. The hour? Ok – The minute! We review: Bill Hovis: Accountant.

Sammy The Toothpick’s returns for another round of “Condensed Classics” and looks at the film classic “Last Tango In Paris” and loses his lunch over Marlon Brando naked.

The writers had difficulty writing the next sketch and edited in a commercial for “The Writer’s Block Institute” instead.

In the next episode of “Hitler unknown Pt 4” we reveal a little known artifact of history: “Papa Hitler’s Irritable Bowel Cabaret”, the inside story of Hitler’s father singing and tap dancing bowel who could get irritated by the small things on life.

We end with the latest hit game show on The Lowest Common Denominator Network: Guess What I Had for My Dinner

Welcome/ warning intro

Theme music montage

How To Grow Your Own Arse Monkey- coming attraction

The Penis and Vagina Co-op

Bill Hovis: Accountant

Sammy The Toothpick’s Condensed classics: Last Tango In Paris

{PODCAST PROMO)

The Writer’s Block Institute

Hitler unknown Pt 4 – Papa Hitler’s Irritable Bowel Cabaret

The Lowest Common Denominator Network: Guess What I Had for My Dinner

Closing Credits

BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) wanders into a corner of the multi-verse that doesn’t exist because a multiverse, like a universe, doesn’t have corners since it is infinitely expanding and something that is infinite can’t have a corner.

Instead of examining this paradoxical quandary, BOMT says “What the Fuck?” and gets on with business.

In the first sketch, we ask the significant question: “Do you suffer from cunt face?” This is no laughing matter and we know you are sniggering. This is why we are debating changing this embarrassing, debilitating, condition to ‘vagina face’ because insensitive, immature, misfits like you keep giggling when we say ‘cunt face’.

We then join another episode of ‘Mangrove’s Man Talk’ as Hensley Mangrove, in his attempt to prove he is a real man, conducts boy talk and attempts to blend in with lads.

Why bother masturbating and all that physical jerking off activity when you can insert “The Shmeckle Chip?”

Finally, the touching coming of age (or coming of something – we don’t quite know what) of a man and an OoompaLumpa named Gary the OoompaLumpa.

Welcome/ warning intro
Theme music montage
C**NT Face Suffer
Mangrove’s Man Talk
The Shmeckle Chip
(PODCAST PROMO)
OoompaLumpa-ism and the adventures of Sleeznac

BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) visits a planet SO woke that it hurts it in its gender thing of no fixed abode as it un-cancels itself, chooses a new pronoun: Whatthe/ Fuck, and chooses to identify itself as a confused cisgender toupee with bisexual magic that is battery operated.

The episode begins with a caution… actually more of a warning… an urgent warning: stop playing with your balls in public!

BOMT righteously attempts to inspire you with the “Power Of Prayer” and the Godly intervention of the Big Dickwaller football game.

Lance Granit manages to pull himself away from the mirror, pause writing fan letters professing true love to himself , and speak on behalf of a charity that is paying him shit loads of money for him to speak on behalf of them.

Then another visit to Dr Gidday - Carbon Neutral environmentally responsible Liberal Doctor and the dream that, if we just get rid of ourselves and all living things, we may save the planet.

Become an observational comedian in Orville’s Academy Of Observational Humour. Anyone can do it, it’s as easy as saying something obvious like, “have you ever wanted to do something that anyone can do like being an observational comedian?”

And finally, on “Me and My Phobia”, we explore some really fucked up wackos… pardon us: people suffering from phobias and meet man with a thing for slutty orangutangs with no knickers.

Welcome/ warning intro
Theme music montage
Stop playing with your balls in public
The Power Of Prayer – The Big Game
Lance Granit Charity Appeal
Dr Gidday – Carbon Neutral environmentally responsible Liberal Doctor
{PODCAST PROMO)
Orville’s Academy Of Observational Humour
Me And My Phobia
Closing Credits