Dirty Bertie Series

Dirty Bertie—the boy with nose-pickingly disgusting habits—is back for another helping of comic chaos, ever-increasing madcap schemes and crazy capers. A collection of stories to delight everyone who revels in his revolting ways. The volume contains Disco!, Mascot!, Spider! and Bees!.

Join Bertie in Trouble!, Poop! and Spash! as he concocts a magic potion for Miss Boot to make her forget the dreaded maths test, finds himself at Know-All Nick’s house for the worst sleepover ever, unexpectedly wins out over the school bully, tries to prove Whiffer isn’t the mystery pooper, scuppers Miss Boot’s chances of winning Teacher of the Year, steals the spotlight on the set of a blockbuster movie, takes Know-All Nick for a ride at the waterpark, goes on the trail of Angela’s missing cat and finds himself out-manoeuvred by Miss Boot on the dance floor.

Worms!: Join Bertie as he tries to get out of a pink party, fails to be polite for a whole day and makes a really rubbish entry into the summer fair's flower arranging competition. Fleas!: Join Bertie as he takes a flea-ridden Whiffer to the vet, does a naughty dare at school and gets a ride in shiny red fire engine! Mud!: Join Bertie in three hilarious stories as he faces a barrage of footballs as the school's new goalie! Bogeys!: Join Bertie as he tries to stop picking his nose, gets more than he bargained for with a magic trick and drives a museum potty on a school outing!

Bertie’s next adventure finds him facing the shame of losing a dare with Know-All Nick and having to wear his pants to school, playing the part of the dog in the local amateur dramatic society’s production of Oliver! and taking Whiffer to Royston Rich’s birthday party, where Whiffer leaves a very unwelcome present …

Join Bertie in this delightfully humorous collection of stories as he faces the shame of losing a dare with Know-All Nick and having to wear his pants to school; as he stages a school dinner revolt, takes Whiffer to dog training and sabotages his sister's sleepover; as he devises a new scheme for making filthy lucre, has a sickly time at the fairground and manages to teach a toddler her first word; and for Christmas, as he makes his very own Christmas crackers, performs in the school nativity play and has to dress up as an elf to help out at Santa's Grotto.

Monster! Join Bertie as he turns Know-All Nick into a monster, gets stuck on a mountain with Dad and comes face to face with his French double! Toothy! Join Bertie on his 19th adventure as he takes a reluctant trip to the dentist, tries to keep his cool on the hottest day of the year and causes a midair emergency whilst flying with a very nervous Dad!

Dirty Bertie - the boy with nose-pickingly disgusting habits, madcap schemes and revolting ways. Join Bertie in Aliens! as he encounters aliens in the school playground, takes to the skies at a balloon festival and becomes a modern-day Robin Hood! And in Rats! he crosses paths with a cheeky rodent, takes part in a chaotic cross-country run and tries to get his dog Whiffer to eat healthily - with disastrous results!

Join Bertie as he tries to get out of a pink party, fails to be polite for a whole day and a makes really rubbish entry into the summer fair’s flower arranging competition …

Join Bertie as he stages a school dinner revolt, takes Whiffer to dog training and sabotages his sister’s sleepover. It can only end in chaos!

Bertie devises a new scheme for making filthy lucre, has a sickly time at the fairground and manages to teach a toddler her first word: Bum!

Join Bertie in Mascot! as he is picked to be the mascot for Pudsley Rovers, attempts to get himself expelled from a geeky summer camp and designs his very own robot, a Bootosaurus, to replace Miss Boot!

Join Bertie in Spider! as he shocks and amazes his classmates with his huge pet spider, is tricked into wearing one of Gran’s knitted horrors to school, and finds nothing but trouble when he digs for treasure in the park.

Join Bertie as he concocts a magic potion for Miss Boot to make her forget the dreaded maths test, finds himself at Know-All Nick’s house for the worst sleepover ever and unexpectedly wins out over the school bully.

Join Bertie in Poop! as he tries to prove Whiffer isn’t the mystery pooper, scuppers Miss Boot’s chances of winning Teacher of the Year and steals the spotlight on the set of a blockbuster movie.

Join Bertie in Splash! as he takes Know-All Nick for a ride at the waterpark, goes on the trail of Angela’s missing cat and finds himself out-manoeuvred by Miss Boot on the dance floor.

Join Bertie in three hilarious new stories as he faces a barrage of footballs as the school’s new goalie, battles to stay clean for the school photographer and has a spookily terrifying sleepover!

Join Bertie in three brand new stories, Bogeys!, Magic! and Potty!, as he tries to stop picking his nose, gets more than he bargained for with a magic trick and drives a museum potty on a school outing!

Join Bertie for three comically chaotic Christmas stories as he makes his very own Christmas crackers, performs in the school nativity play and has to dress up as an elf to help out at Santa’s Grotto.

Join Bertie in Disco! as he gets tricked into accompanying Angela Nicely to the school disco, becomes Royston Rich’s slave for the day and cooks up a great escape for Gran and her friends on an ultra-dull trip to the seaside!

Join Bertie as he takes a flea-ridden Whiffer to the vet, does a naughty dare at school and gets a ride in shiny red fire engine!