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Here Be Sexist Vampires

By: Suzanne Wright
Narrated by: Justine Eyre, P.J. Ochlan
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Summary

Sam Parker is a vampire with a gift so strong and substantial that she is invited to partake in a test for a place in the Grand High Master Vampire's private army. She finds that not only has the army never included a woman, but it has never included a Svente vampire; a breed that is regarded by the super strong Pagori breed and the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed to be too tame and human-like.

Most refuse to take her seriously, especially a Pagori commander named Jared who she craves in spite of herself. The Grand High Master, however, sees her potential and offers her the position of Jared's co-commander to help train the newest squad in time for the impending attack on his home. Sam has to demonstrate to Jared and the squad of chauvinists why it is incredibly foolish to underestimate a wilful, temperamental, borderline-homicidal Svente female.

©2012 Suzanne Wright (P)2018 Tantor
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What listeners say about Here Be Sexist Vampires

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Ghastly supposedly English accent!!

Entertaining enough story spoiled by the male attempting an English London accent! Really terrible! Please don’t bother, just speak American to stop the pain an English person feels!

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

good story but...

It was a good story and I would of bought the next book if the Male parts had been read by the Male and the female parts had been read by the female I hate a Male doing a female accent.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

a good read

I enjoyed listening to this book I really liked the strong female character an she stayed a strong character throughout would definitely recommend

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

a vampiric lovestory with audio porn content

for me there needed more plot and twists to balance the very raunchy sex scenes. the heroin is quite likeable but for such a strong feminist character the dithering over bedding her man just didnt fit. also the male narrator didnt quite get Sam's voice.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A brilliant sexy vampire story

I enjoyed the book very much. Being English and living close to London England, my only negative was that considering Sam Parker was meant to be a Cockney neither narrator honed the Cockney accent at all. PJ still sounded like an American badly attempting Cockney and Justine, although doing a great middle class British English accent, did not sound like a Cockney either. Americans often struggle with British English and Canadians, when mimicking British English do a good job but British dialects aren't easy. A voice coach may have helped to make it more believable, or maybe it would have been better to have left out the Cockney element from the story altogether. That said both narrators were brilliant and I absolutely loved the story. I'm looking forward to listening to Suzanne Wright's The Bite That Binds, now x

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Loved it!

Can’t wait the next. Great story so much more in it than your usual vampire stories.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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2 narrators

I really struggled listening to the narrator who read Jared POV, particularly when he read out Sam talking - to the point I couldn't listen to it and got the hard copy instead. Great story if you can get over that.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Started really well but a bit rushed at the end🤷‍♀️

I’m not normally into vampire books, but I really enjoyed the majority of this one.
It was well done on the vampire theme not ridiculously unbelievable.
I liked the characters and the storyline. However, about half way through, the accents went a bit off topic 🫤 this weird faux cockney like Dick Van Dyke was laughably bad. It didn’t stop me from listening to the end, it just made it far less enjoyable.

NOTE TO PRODUCERS- USE NATIVE SPEAKERS OR DON’T BOTHER because it can put a five star book review to a 2 star review, it’s that serious. You don’t seem to listen to this advice from listeners. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT PLEASE! This review may not appear because it’s not 5 star and critical - they do ‘disappear’ 🤔.

Finally, I did feel the final bit of the book culminating in the battle was really short and lacking in suspense. It just felt a little rushed.

I would recommend this book but only if you aren’t too put off by dubious accents.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Different and enjoyable

I have read alot of vampire books but none like this. Terrible name for a book but thought Id give it a go since was free. Glad I did. Funny, spicy and had a storyline to it.

Female narrator good, male narrators female english accent cringeworthy but I just went with it.

Worth a listen.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

I loved it.

Fun to listen while driving to summerhouse for holiday. 2 storytellers were good thing. Clear english even for foregner.

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5 people found this helpful