Am I Having Fun Now? cover art

Am I Having Fun Now?

Anxiety, Applause and Life's Big Questions, Answered

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Am I Having Fun Now?

By: Suzi Ruffell
Narrated by: Suzi Ruffell
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About this listen

Including exclusive behind-the-scenes conversations between Suzi and special guests, including Romesh Ranganathan, Josh Widdecombe, Tom Allen, Maisie Adams, Rosie Jones, and her mum.

'A brilliant representation of anxiety made hilarious.' - Romesh Ranganathan

Does peaking in high school ruin you for life?
Was Miley Cyrus right,
is it all about the climb (when it comes to building a career?)
And what - scientifically - is the best way to mend a broken heart?


Comedian Suzi Ruffell is considering life's big questions.

In this brutally honest, funny, and often moving memoir, Suzi winningly tells her life story, and asks a host of experts to answer the tricky questions it prompts along the way. Diamond life advice comes from the likes of Elizabeth Day, Dolly Alderton, Charlene Douglas, Laura Bates, Dr Kirren Schnack, and more.

From masking anxiety with musical theatre and struggling to find her groove at school, on stage, and in her love life, to (eventually) coming out, falling in love, and becoming a parent, Suzi lays her life bare with trademark wit, verve and style.

Am I Having Fun Now? is riveting, relatable and revealing. Studded with brilliant, cutting observations on feminism, being working class in the world of arts and comedy, LGBTQ+ equality and the up- and downsides of ambition, it's perfect listening for fans of books by Fern Brady, Elizabeth Day, Romesh Ranganathan, Sarah Pascoe and Tom Allen.

©2025 Suzi Ruffell (P)2025 Macmillan Publishers International Limited
Anxiety Disorders Biographies & Memoirs Entertainment & Celebrities Mental Health Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Women Funny Heartfelt Witty Comedy

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Critic reviews

'An excellent book, I want to give everyone I know - from my teenage niece to my 60yr old Dad.
So brilliant.' (Masie Adam)

'Brilliantly honest, beautifully written and will help so many people' (Josh Widdicombe)

'Honest, hilarious and totally relatable. Simply wonderful, I related so hard to every chapter. I LOVED IT.' (Rosie Jones)

A beautifully sensitive book from one of Britain's best comedians. (Tom Allen)
A really funny and honest book. A work of such importance. (Jon Richardson)
All stars
Most relevant  
A fantastic listen – heartwarmingly honest and deeply relatable. I laughed, I cried, and found myself truly connected to the story. I didn’t want it to end. The bonus interviews at the end were a brilliant addition. Highly recommend!

Couldn’t stop listening!

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so brilliantly written and relatable. Again and again I would find myself thinking “yes, that’s me!“. The bonus content at the end is really really good as well. There are some elements of her life story but this really is about life through the perspective of living it with anxiety and i loved it.

The best kind of self help if you’re anxious!

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Well done Suzi! Listened to it all in 3 days. Loved your honesty especially about St Eds - I was there a few years ahead of you and it was awful then too.
Loved the bonus audible interviews too.
What a great read with really useful advice.

Wonderful, honest, beautifully written

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This is the first audio book I’ve listened to. I’m not a big reader and if I’m listening to anything it’s usually music so this is out of character for me but I’m so glad that this book is the one I chose to listen to (I won’t pretend I didn’t buy an audible subscription exclusively to listen to this book)
With each new chapter I felt like I was relating to something new. It’s so raw and honest and listening to someone breaking down feelings that I’ve felt so many times before is so enlightening.
This book is so well written. It’s so funny, emotional, gritty at times and so incredibly well researched. Each expert interview was something new for me to learn.
I’m really into comedy at the moment and hearing one of my favourite comedians speak with and directly quote so many of my other favourite comedians was a massive bonus for me.
I just knew I would love this book because I’ve loved Suzi Ruffell for a while now. I remember searching through YouTube for as many standup clips of her I could find and I finally got to see her live in 2023 and she’s just amazing. Got another show of hers booked for October so I’m absolutely buzzing.
Do yourself a huge favour and listen to this book!!!!!

Amazing.

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Suzi is likeable, engaging and relatable all whilst dissecting some big issues in her life and the wider world. Fascinating, thought provoking without being pious or preachy in a very easy listen. Nice one, Suzi.

Excellent listen

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I’ve been a fan of Suzi’s for a while now and this book made me love her even more. It’s a book about anxiety that manages to be joyful and uplifting. I absolutely loved it and highly recommend it. Beautifully written and read by Suzi. I’m so sorry it’s over!

A wonderful read /listen

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Suzi writes and speaks in such a lovely manner that is relatable to all those just trying to get life. The book is funny, clever and a thoroughly good read (listen).

So relatable!

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Loved it! So well written, heartfelt and obviously funny, I admire Suzi even more now.

Devoured it. Suzi is brilliant.

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I've been a big fan of Suzi for a while and I thought this book was wonderful. A beautifully put together book that will make you laugh, cry and think about so many topics including mental health, relationships, LGBTQIA+ issues and history and much more besides.. a moving, funny and thought provoking read, especially for anyone with mental health who can see traits of themselves in what Suzi writes.

Suzi is outstanding!

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Really enjoyed listening to Suzi read her fabulous book. It was so uplifting and entertaining. Brilliant mix of personal stories and insights from professionals. I really loved the chats at the end of the book too! ♥️♥️♥️

Beautifully honest, encouraging and laugh-out-loud funny!!

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