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Parenting Beyond Power

How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family -- and the World

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Parenting Beyond Power

By: Jen Lumanlan MS MEd
Narrated by: Jen Lumanlan MS MEd
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About this listen

Parenting is hard. But when we replace conventional parent-child power dynamics with collaboration, family life gets easier today—and we create a better world for all of us in the future.

When we see our children stalling, resisting, having tantrums, using mean words, and hitting, we want to just make it stop. But conventional discipline methods like time-outs, countdowns, and “consequences” teach children that it’s OK for more powerful people to control others—a lesson they take out into the world. This is how we learned White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism from our parents—and we will replicate this with our children unless we make a different choice.

Research-based parenting educator Jen Lumanlan offers a simple yet revolutionary framework for rethinking our relationships with children. This new approach helps us to look beneath challenging behaviors to find and meet children’s needs, and ours too—perhaps for the first time in our lives. It involves empathetic listening, understanding feelings and underlying needs, and problem-solving with our children to find solutions to conflicts that work for everyone.

Family life becomes radically easier in the short term because behavior problems tend to melt away. In the long term, we’ll raise children who confidently advocate for themselves and treat others with profound respect.

Includes sample scripts, flowcharts, and resources to help parents learn and implement this new approach.

* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of charts and resources from the book.

©2023 Jen Lumanlan (P)2023 Random House Audio
Parenting & Families Relationships
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Critic reviews

“I’m in love with this book! It illuminates the forces that make parenting so difficult, and helps us develop better relationships with our kids—and ourselves.” —Hunter Clarke-Fields, MSAE, author of Raising Good Humans

What listeners say about Parenting Beyond Power

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There is hope!

I have purchased several parenting audiobooks which I have found unrealistic and difficult to relate to. This is the first parenting book that I have not only listened too the whole way through, but have enjoyed the process of doing so. It doesn’t confess to being able to change things overnight but offers a relatable, practical approach to challenging our beliefs and behaviours within parenting and our wider communities for the benefit of all those around us, especially our children. Thank you!

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It's not my fault

Jen's work, her podcast, programs, and now this book, has been eye-opening for me.

The beginning of the book reminds me that a lot of the struggles I have aren't my fault. There are all these different systems in place which making living in this world difficult...

And yet, it is possible to make this world a better place. It starts with me and the relationships I have with my children and others around me.

The book guides us through a different way of being a parent. It asks us to reflect on the type of parent we want to be and the type of relationship with our children we want to have.

It teaches us how to we can have a deep connection with our children - and how to make parenting easier.

This is definitely a must listen if you are a parent (or person!) who wants to respect yourself while also caring for those around you.

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Needs based

Book tackles two questions that seem separate, but actually are entwined: capitalism/patriarchy/white supremacy and conflict solving with our children teaching a needs based approach to finding solutions that work for both you and your child (thus disrupting from how we were often raised sed). This is then tied to a healing and learning that go beyond our families, starting to use the same strategies also in other relationships and connecting on a deeper level with our community and the world.

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The Answer is this book

Loved hearing Jen narrate this book herself. I have been listening to her for years and I truly believe my life is better because of her work.
It has taken me a while to really embed the practices to meet each other's needs. The first step was realising that I had needs in the first place - as basic as eating (!) that I was conditioned to ignore.
The world would really be a better place if we all tried our best to parent this way!!

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White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism

I listened to an hour of this book with the dominant topics being about white supremacy, patriarchy and capitalism. There was so little discussion of parenting, that you'd be forgiven for thinking this book had nothing to do with parenting at all. Almost another hour following where I stopped is a chapter entitled "Societal Forces Shape Our Family Life: How White Supremacy, Patriarchy and Capitalism Affect Our Relationships with Our Children".
I felt this book was a long way from the summary and the blurb. I'll be asking for a refund.

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