Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated cover art

Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

When Parents Make Their Children Partners

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Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated

By: Kenneth Adams
Narrated by: Craig Jessen
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About this listen

When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy - even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries - usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring'. The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction - because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child.

In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close', especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.

©2011 Kenneth M. Adams (P)2013 Audible, Inc. Abuse Child Abuse Dysfunctional Families Parenting & Families Personal Development Relationships Young Adult Codependent Parent

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All stars
Most relevant  
This book really has cut out the fluff. It has short case studies of individuals and how their relationship with their parent has affected them. The writer then analyses how this has spilled over into their adulthood relationships with their significant others. Certain chapters of this book has really resounded with me and will be seeking therapy to detangle it all.

Well structured and insightful

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struggle with reader's intonation for female voice
but it doesn't mean can't or shouldn't listen. helped me understand a lot of my own behaviours.

hard to listen to but important

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This book was recommended by a friend in recovery. I have struggled for years with intimate relationships despite much therapy, awareness and 12 step work.
This book explains and offers solutions to the riddle of why I sought out women who intrigued rather than those who might allow for intimacy.
Equally I understand why I felt responsible for women’s happiness rather than understanding my own needs.
Emotional incest is extremely damaging and it takes work to undo the damage.
Get this book if you feel you might be or might have been too close to a parent who told you they loved you. They may have been fulfilling their own needs rather than the needs of the child

A godsend of a book

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An important discussion about a very common problem, very enlightening. Not especially keen on the narration, it works for the stories told from the perspective of clients, but the style is a bit odd for the actual discussion from the author. Not sure about the concluding chapters on what to do about the problem, rather selfish and undutiful cutoffs of family. But overall it's a very important subject that people need awareness of, mostly so they stop perpetuating the condition down family trees.

Insights in to a common family disfunction

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Concise. Loaded with insight. Accessible. Deserves to be more widely recognised. More words are apparently required.

Brilliant.

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