If you’ve struggled with insomnia, you know this isn’t just about feeling tired.

It’s about the suffering that comes with not sleeping.

The fear.

The frustration.

The feeling that you’re broken.

The dread of the next night.

The anxiety about tomorrow.

It can feel like a never-ending spiral. But there’s a way out.

It starts with understanding the difference between clean pain and dirty pain.

Clean vs. Dirty Pain

This idea comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and it’s a game-changer.

• Clean pain is the natural discomfort that comes from difficult life experiences—like fatigue from a bad night, sadness, or disappointment.
• Dirty pain is the suffering we add on top of that experience with our reactions.

For example:

• Feeling tired = clean pain
• Telling yourself “I’ll never feel normal again” = dirty pain
• Feeling anxious = clean pain
• Berating yourself for being anxious = dirty pain

Dirty pain keeps you stuck.

It’s the loop of overthinking, catastrophizing, self-judgment, and avoidance.

It’s the extra suffering we create by resisting reality instead of accepting it.

The more you engage with dirty pain, the more revved up your nervous system becomes—and the harder it is to sleep.

But when you recognize it, you can shift.

You can choose to feel the clean pain—and skip the extra suffering.

Drop the Rope

Imagine you’re in a fierce game of tug-of-war with the “Insomnia Monster.”

You’re pulling with all your strength, trying not to fall into the pit.

You think:

“If I just try hard enough, I’ll win. I’ll finally sleep.”

But no matter how hard you pull, the monster pulls harder.

You’re exhausted, terrified, and it feels like you’re losing ground.

Here’s the twist:

You don’t have to win.

You can drop the rope.

When you stop fighting, the monster may still be there—but the struggle changes.

You’re no longer draining your energy in a battle you can’t win.

You’re reclaiming peace, one moment at a time.

You Can Choose a New Relationship with Insomnia

You don’t need to accept insomnia forever.

You don’t need to love being tired.

But you can learn to stop fighting every moment of it.

Mindful acceptance is how you find relief.

Not just when your sleep improves, but starting now.

Even while things are still messy.

Here’s the truth:

You won’t always feel calm.

You won’t always get it “right.”

But every time you shift from resistance to acceptance, you take a step toward peace.

And every step makes sleep easier.

So the next time you’re lying awake, ask yourself:

Can I stop fighting this moment, just for now?

Then see what happens.

You’re doing better than you think

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.

If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally,

You might be doing all the “right” things to improve your sleep…

But if your mind is stuck in the same place—anxious, tense, and desperate to sleep—you’re unknowingly making it harder to rest.

Here’s a simple but powerful mindset shift:

Sleeping well starts with caring less about sleeping well.

It sounds strange at first.

Why would caring less help?

Because when we’re desperate to sleep, we activate stress and hyperarousal in our nervous system—the very thing that keeps us awake.

So what does “caring less” actually mean?

It doesn’t mean giving up.

It means reducing your emotional reactivity to poor sleep.

It means accepting what’s happening in the moment instead of fighting it.

You can train your nervous system to do this.

That’s where mindful acceptance comes in.

What Is Mindful Acceptance?

Mindful acceptance combines two essential skills:

1. Mindfulness
2. Acceptance

Let’s break them down.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the ability to notice what’s happening in the present moment without judgment.

It’s the opposite of being on autopilot.

It helps you escape the storm of thoughts and worries and recognize what’s real, right now.

Jon Kabat-Zinn—who helped bring mindfulness into medicine—calls it:

“Paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

Mindfulness teaches you how to:

• Step back from your anxious thoughts
• Recognize your patterns
• Stop reacting automatically
• Slow down and observe
• Stay grounded—even when things feel uncomfortable

In daily life, this means noticing your thoughts without believing every one of them.

It means seeing your feelings without getting swept away.

That’s a superpower when it comes to sleep.

Because when insomnia strikes, autopilot looks like this:

“Oh no, not again.”

“I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow.”

“Why can’t I just sleep like a normal person?”

That mental loop fuels stress, and stress blocks sleep.

But with mindfulness, you recognize those thoughts for what they are: thoughts.

Not truths.

Not threats.

2. Acceptance

Here’s where mindfulness becomes transformative.

When you notice what’s happening, you can choose to accept it.

That means:

• Letting a thought or feeling be there, even if it’s uncomfortable
• Not trying to fix, fight, or escape your experience
• Allowing yourself to be human—even when it’s hard

This is what mindful acceptance looks like in practice:

“I’m feeling anxious about not sleeping. I notice it. I’m not going to wrestle with it. It’s allowed to be here.”

Acceptance gives you space.

It’s not passive. It’s powerful.

When you stop struggling with what you can’t control (like falling asleep on command), you take your nervous system out of fight-or-flight mode.

That creates the conditions where sleep becomes more likely—not through effort, but through ease.

Next time, I’ll share how this plays out in real life—especially when it comes to the pain insomnia creates (and how to reduce it).

Until then, here’s something to sit with:

What if you stopped trying so hard to feel okay…

And gave yourself permission to be okay, even when things aren’t perfect?

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering.

I also wrote a book about it.

I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with...

In the last episode, I shared three practical ways to help you stop spiraling when you’re awake at night.

Today, let’s look at what not to do.

Because often, we unintentionally fuel the very anxiety that keeps us up.

Here are five common habits that might be sabotaging your nights—and what to do instead:

1. Clock-Watching

Checking the time might feel innocent, but it ramps up anxiety fast:

• “It’s 4:00 a.m. already?!”
• “Only 3 hours left before my alarm.”

Sound familiar?

This type of monitoring sends your nervous system into alert mode.

Instead:

Set your alarm and don’t look at the clock again.

Hide it if you need to.

Let your body experience the night without performance anxiety.

2. Holding Rigid Expectations

If you go to bed thinking,

“I better get at least 7 hours tonight or tomorrow is ruined.”

You’re setting yourself up for stress.

Or maybe you’ve told yourself, “I always sleep badly after two good nights—I know the pattern.”

These stories turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.

Instead:

Keep an open mind.

Let go of predictions.

Assume nothing.

Your body is capable of surprise, especially when it feels safe.

3. Resisting Discomfort

Being awake when you want to be asleep is uncomfortable.

But fighting that discomfort adds a second layer of pain.

Instead:

Expect some discomfort.

Make room for it.

Practice saying, “This is hard, but I can handle it.”

That one shift reduces the inner struggle.

4. Burning Through Your Energy

When you spend all night panicking, you’re draining your emotional reserves.

Even if you get a few hours of sleep, you’ll feel wrecked.

Instead:

The less you fight, the more energy you save.

Being awake isn’t the enemy—it’s how you relate to it that matters.

You can be tired and okay.

5. Overreacting to Hyperarousal Symptoms

Do you ever:

• Jerk awake right as you’re falling asleep?
• Wake up with a pounding heart?
• Feel pressure building in your chest or limbs?

These are all symptoms of a revved-up nervous system.

Instead:

Label them gently: “Ah, hyperarousal.”

Not a threat. Not a failure.

Just a temporary wave.

The more calmly you respond, the faster those waves subside.

It’s easy to fall into these habits.

But once you spot them, you can begin to let them go—and build new ones that truly support your sleep.

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Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.

If you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.

If you’ve ever been awake at 2 a.m., staring at the ceiling, wishing you could just turn your brain off, you’re not alone.

Most people think their only goal at night should be falling asleep.

But what if that goal is the very thing getting in the way?

Instead of forcing sleep, try something new: finding peace—even when you’re awake.

That might sound backward, but here’s the truth:

Trying to force sleep doesn’t work.

It triggers anxiety and keeps your nervous system in fight-or-flight mode.

But when you learn to soften your attachment to sleep and find a little bit of calm even while you’re awake, everything changes.

Let’s talk about three ways you can respond to nighttime wakefulness in a way that helps your body feel safe and re-learn how to sleep.

Mindfulness in Bed

Practicing mindfulness gives your brain a calmer focus.

That might mean breathing deeply, doing a body scan, or just noticing where your mind wanders.

You’re not doing this to “make sleep happen.”

You’re doing it to experience calm in the moment.

Ironically, that calm is what makes sleep more likely to return.

Body Scan Practice:

Start at your toes.

Spend about 15 seconds feeling each area of your body—feet, ankles, legs, torso, arms, neck, face—until you reach the top of your head.

If your mind wanders (and it will), bring it back and continue.

Some people like to label their thoughts by silently saying, “Thinking,” whenever they get distracted.

This helps you step back from your thoughts and return to the present moment.

Don’t expect this to make you fall asleep right away.

That’s not the point.

But it will help your nervous system stop spiraling—and that alone makes your night more restful.

Relaxing Activity in Bed

If focusing on your body doesn’t feel helpful, try doing something low-key in bed.

Read a physical book, listen to a podcast or calming audio, or watch something slow and gentle (without the intent to sleep).

The idea isn’t to distract yourself until you pass out.

It’s to break the loop of anxious thoughts and make the night feel less threatening.

If you start to feel sleepy—eyes drooping, head nodding—pause what you’re doing and let yourself drift off.

Get Out of Bed

Sometimes, staying in bed only makes the anxiety worse.

In that case, get up, stretch, sit somewhere cozy, sip something warm, and do a light, enjoyable activity—nothing goal-oriented or mentally demanding.

The goal here isn’t to “reset your sleep.” It’s to reset your nervous system.

No matter which of these three you choose, the goal is the same:

To experience less struggle at night. To be awake without spiraling.

You’re teaching your brain that wakefulness doesn’t have to mean threat.

That shift is what helps calm the Sleep-Stopping Force—so sleep can return naturally, in its own time.

You’re not broken.

You’re just stuck in a loop.

And with some practice, you can find your way out.

Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.

If you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.

Let’s talk about how to deal with anxious thoughts in a new way—one that doesn’t involve fighting them.

Earlier, you learned how to challenge scary or extreme thoughts. That can help.

But sometimes, even when we challenge a thought, the anxiety stays.

And that’s okay.

The goal isn’t to never feel anxiety.

It’s to stop letting anxious thoughts run the show.

That’s where mindful acceptance of thoughts comes in.

A technique called defusion helps you step back from your thoughts so they don’t feel so heavy or powerful.

What Is Defusion?

Defusion means seeing a thought as just a thought—not a fact, not a command, and not something you have to believe.

When we’re “fused” with our thoughts, it feels like we are our thoughts.

Defusion helps us create space between ourselves and our thinking.

This gives you more choice. Instead of reacting, you can observe.

Instead of obeying every anxious thought, you can pause and choose your next step.

1. Thoughts are mental input, not reality. Your thoughts are like messages your brain sends you. Some are helpful. Some are junk mail. You don’t have to believe every single one. You can thank your mind for its input—and still choose a different path.

2. Thoughts don’t last forever. Even big, loud, stressful thoughts fade. Your mind is always moving. Just sit for five minutes and notice how many different things you think about. Even thoughts that repeat will shift, grow quiet, or disappear.

When you start trusting that your thoughts aren’t permanent, they become less scary.

You begin to realize, “I don’t have to fix this thought. I just have to let it be.”

When you notice your mind spinning, try this:

• Say to yourself, “Thinking.”
• Or, “I’m having a thought.”
• Or, “I’m having the thought that I won’t sleep.”

This small step helps you step out of the story and back into the moment.

You stop being stuck inside the thought and instead become the observer.

Once you’ve labeled it, you can choose what to do next.

Maybe you stay with the thought.

Maybe you let it go.

Maybe you return to what you were doing. It’s up to you.

Set a timer for five minutes.

Just sit and notice how many different thoughts come up.

Watch how fast your brain changes direction.

This shows you in real time that thoughts move on—even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

That’s normal. Some thoughts, especially anxious ones, like to visit again and again. Each time, you can:

• Label it.
• Notice it.
• Gently return your focus to the present.
• Remind yourself, “It’s okay for this thought to be here.”

The goal isn’t to get rid of thoughts. It’s to hold them more lightly.

Imagine walking through life carrying a backpack of worries.

Defusion doesn’t empty the bag all at once.

But it lets you stop gripping it so tightly.

You still carry it, but with less tension and more ease.

And that makes space for you to live—to keep doing what matters, even with a few noisy thoughts tagging along.

So next time your mind says something scary about sleep, try this:

1. Notice it.
2. Label it.
3. Thank your mind.
4. Keep moving forward anyway.

You’re not your thoughts. You’re the one who notices them.

And that changes everything.

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Are you looking to dive deep into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on...

Let’s talk about thoughts—especially the ones that pop up when you’re trying to sleep.

Anxious thoughts are one of the biggest reasons people can’t fall asleep or stay asleep.

Maybe you’ve felt it too: bedtime comes, and suddenly your mind is filled with worries.

Or you wake up in the middle of the night, and your thoughts race.

One scary thought turns into another; before you know it, sleep feels impossible.

You might even feel like you’re walking on eggshells inside your own head, trying not to think the wrong thing that will set off an avalanche of fear.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to believe everything you think.

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Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.

Work with us if you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally.

Sometimes, it’s not just the lack of sleep that makes you feel bad during the day.

It’s the way you react to it.

And that reaction can make things way harder than they need to be.

There are two types of pain: clean pain and dirty pain.

Clean pain is the kind of pain that naturally happens in life.

Things like sadness, stress, worry, or feeling tired after a bad night.

These are all part of being human.

Dirty pain is the extra pain we add on top of that.

It comes from how we react to the clean pain.

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Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.

Work with us if you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in just 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally.

Let’s talk about something that might surprise you: sleeping better often comes from caring less about sleep.

That may sound strange, but it’s true.

When we stop stressing and trying to control every part of our sleep, our body and brain relax.

And that’s when sleep can finally show up.

One of the big things that keeps you awake isn’t just the lack of sleep.

It’s the worry and tension about not sleeping.

This tension keeps your body wired. We call this the sleep-stopping force.

Good news: you can calm this force.

A big part of that process is learning mindful acceptance.

Mindful acceptance helps you stay calmer and more grounded when sleep doesn’t come.

It gives you tools to deal with the stress and fear that often make things worse.

So, what is mindful acceptance?

Let’s dive in.

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Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.

Work with us if you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in just 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally.