This week I’m diving into the crucial differences between what’s real and what’s fantasy, especially when it comes to our kids' exposure to pornography. It’s a topic that’s tough to talk about, but we can't ignore the fact that most children will encounter explicit content by the age of 11, with some even younger. This reality makes it all the more essential for us as parents to understand these distinctions so we can guide our children.

One of the concepts I explore is the erotic equation: attraction plus obstacle equals excitement. This formula is often exploited by the porn industry, which normalises fantasies that have little to do with real-life intimacy. Without our input, children might start to think that what they see on a screen is what sex is really like, leading to confusion and potentially harmful behaviour as they grow.

I’m urging parents to open up conversations about what’s real and what’s fantasy—breaking down the images and ideas they might come across online and putting them into context. These aren’t one-off talks; they’re ongoing dialogues that help our children distinguish between healthy sexuality and unrealistic portrayals.

My goal in this episode is to encourage you to build communication bridges with your kids. By fostering trust and openness, we can help them develop a healthy understanding of their own sexuality and navigate relationships with clarity. It’s not about shutting down curiosity; it’s about guiding it, ensuring they feel safe to ask questions and explore their feelings without shame.

Let's work together to be that guiding light in our children’s lives.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

In this episode, I’m getting right to the heart of why it's so important to have honest conversations with our kids about sex. I know it can be awkward and uncomfortable, but if we don’t step in to guide them, they’ll be left to figure it out on their own—and that can lead to some dangerous misconceptions.

From a young age, children are curious, and they’re picking up messages about sex from everywhere—media, friends, and social expectations. Without our guidance, they might associate sex with things like power, control, or even violence. I’m here to encourage you to make these conversations a priority, starting early and keeping them going as they grow.

In this episode, I address the societal normalisation of certain practices, like anal sex, which are often portrayed without any real education around the health or emotional implications. It’s a huge gap that we, as parents, need to fill by talking openly about the realities of sex—what it is, what it isn’t, and how it can be both safe and intimate.

I want to empower you to have those candid and vulnerable conversations, even if you’re not sure where to start. Together, we can help our children understand that sex is not just about physical acts but also about connection, respect, and emotional intimacy. I’ll share practical tips on how to get comfortable with these topics and how to create an open environment where our kids feel safe to ask questions.

It’s not about having all the answers; it’s about being there to guide them through the confusion, dispel myths, and foster a healthy understanding of what sex is really all about. Let's face this challenge together—because our kids need us to be their safe space and first source of truth.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/

I'm diving into the fascinating and somewhat controversial topic of AI in Porn and what it is bringing to the industry. AI is rapidly transforming how porn is created and consumed, and it’s something we need to talk about openly. One of the key points I explore is how AI has the potential to personalise erotic content based on individual user preferences, creating a tailored experience like never before. While that might sound enticing, there’s a lot more to unpack.

AI-generated content offers a safer, more ethical alternative to traditional porn, as it can create fantasy scenarios without involving real actors. This has the potential to eliminate the exploitation, coercion, and non-consensual acts that we’ve sadly seen in some corners of the industry. However, there’s a fine line between using AI for ethical fantasy creation and falling into the trap of emotional regulation misuse—using porn as a crutch to avoid real-life emotional development.

I also touch on the neurological effects of prolonged porn use, especially when it’s used as a tool to manage emotions or stress. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sort of “survival state” that hinders emotional and social growth. This is a real concern, especially for young people, who might not fully understand how their brains and bodies are being impacted by constant exposure to sexual content.

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is the need to distinguish fantasy from reality. While AI might offer a safer, more consensual experience, it’s crucial to remind ourselves—and especially our children—that what we see on a screen isn’t a reflection of real-life relationships or sexual encounters. We have to be mindful about how these technologies are shaping our views on intimacy and connection.

About Janet:
Janet is an Intimacy Coach & Relationship Therapist based in the UK. She helps individuals & couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation achieve deeper levels of relational intimacy.

Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.

Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).

Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @janet.eileen.simpson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-eileen-simpson-104b15149/