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Preview
  • My Take Away Vampire

  • A Novella with Bite
  • By: Derek Haines
  • Narrated by: Persephone Rose
  • Length: 1 hr and 51 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (3 ratings)

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My Take Away Vampire

By: Derek Haines
Narrated by: Persephone Rose
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Summary

A very different vampire story.

Although Agatha Grace is more than 300 years old, it certainly doesn’t mean she can’t adapt and fit into ugly, postindustrial small-town suburbia. Partial to the delights an evening at McDonald’s often serves her, she waits at her favourite dimly lit corner table - for her kind of vampire takeaway.

Being your typical urban vampire, this means her fare isn’t up in bright lights on the menu above the cashiers. However, she usually finds exactly what she is seeking. Her teenage beauty, long, blonde hair, and ice blue eyes are a temptation very few adorable young men can resist.

After a long and predictable vampiric existence, trouble is now afoot for Agatha Grace, however. Redheaded, freckled, and occasionally a little slow on the uptake, young Reggie stumbles into Agatha’s predictability and turns it on its head as he is struck by his first real dose of love at first sight.

Add the overprotective, rhyming ghost of a dead poet, a snarling black wolf, some cops, and Agatha’s preference for the 1980s' fashion of miniskirts, satin halter-neck tops, and knotted white blouses, and things just may go awry, which of course they do.

Along with a couple of untimely and unfortunate deaths and Reggie’s complete misunderstanding of anything going on, the awry becomes a dead certainty.

Enjoy My Take Away Vampire. A very different, tasty little comedy vampire tale, but still with a little bite!

©2011 Derek Haines (P)2018 Wordwooze Publishing
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: Romance
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What listeners say about My Take Away Vampire

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Fed well, it would seem. It wasn't a dream.

An enjoyable short story, nicely performed by Penelope Rose.
This is a spoof vampire tale of Agatha, a young farmer's daughter, turned on her fifteenth birthday. She haunts MacDonalds, hopefully looking for virile young men to 'embrace', so was usually hungry and desperate. Her only real friend lies in the cemetery plot next to hers, a rhyming ghost.

Penelope Rose's narration adds just the right dash of mystery and humour, and is well paced with good intonation and differentiated character voicings. Fun plot, shame about the verses, and certainly different from usual vampire expectations: definitely worth a read.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining.

An entertaining and sometimes sad story with well developed characters and a lot of humour, nicely narrated by Persephone Rose.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Brilliant

Lovely story about vampires and narrated brilliantly shame it was short would have loved to have more

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