The Gaslight Effect
How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life
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The Gaslight Effect
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Narrated by:
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Nan McNamara
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By:
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Dr. Robin Stern
About this listen
Are You Being Gaslighted?
Check for these telltale signs:
- You constantly second-guess yourself.
- You wonder, "Am I being too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.
- You wonder frequently if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.
- You have trouble making simple decisions.
- You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversation.
- You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family.
- Before your partner comes home from work, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.
- You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases thinking about what your partner would like instead of what would make you feel great.
- You actually start to enjoy the constant criticism, because you think, "What doesn't kill me will make me stronger."
- You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don't have to tell him things you're afraid might upset him.
- You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.
- You feel as though you can't do anything right.
- You frequently wonder if you're good enough for your lover.
- Your kids start trying to protect you from being humiliated by your partner.
- You feel hopeless and joyless.
Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.
Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff - including yours - he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you'll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence.
Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.
If you think things like this can't happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn't and to believe the unbelievable. It can happen to you and it probably already has.
©2007 Dr. Robin Stern (P)2018 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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What listeners say about The Gaslight Effect
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Shez
- 06-10-19
Amazing and insightful
very good book
very insightful and thought provoking
would definitely recommend to listen to and not just once
got it ingrained into your mind
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Charlotte-Anne w.
- 03-01-22
very eye opening
I found this book to be particularly interesting and thought provoking. it helped me identify certain behaviours that I would not have noticed before and has definitely given me the tools to recognize unwanted behavioural patterns in others and myself. Well worth a listen
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- Louise
- 16-07-19
Really Important read
Painful at times but only because of the insight it offers.
Glad I read it
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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- Szilvia O
- 08-04-20
Life dramaticaly changed
The book tought me to learn to solve the problem and how to use faith,spirit and different pover to sport something .Incredibley made me strong and able to be the controled of my Life.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Natalie Jack
- 09-07-20
Eye opening and life changing!
Amazing book, gives so much insight. A book that I will be recommending to other people close to me, who I know will benefit from this!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Gemma Smith
- 28-10-21
Very good.
I found this interesting and have listened to several times. Thought provoking and something you can dip in and out of. I find it really calming to listen to as well.
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- SurfingHaggis
- 12-10-22
Game changer, life-changing
This one really put together the final pieces in the jigsaw of my past life. Not only did it help me navigate exactly what had happened to me, it also helped me see where I could change my behaviour to prevent it ever happening again. More than that, it gave me permission to have my own thoughts and say them out loud, own who I am and be unafraid of it. I never knew I was allowed to do that until this book. I never knew I was in charge of the relationships in my life and I feel empowered. I will be forever changed and it has hit me on a profound level ❤️
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- Amazon Customer
- 20-04-18
A guiding light in the darkness confusion caused by gaslighting
This book is essential reading for anyone who has been, or is, in an emotionally abusive relationship. In fact it would be helpful for anyone to read as anyone can be sucked into a psychologically abusive relationship as they start so subtly you don’t realise it’s happening until it’s too late. But this book makes sense of it all - how it happens and what to do about it!
Thank you for writing this book.
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11 people found this helpful
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- Lynne
- 01-10-19
A must read for anyone enduring emotional abuse
This book is unbelievable. For ten years I knew there was something not quite right with my relationship but couldn’t quite put my finger on what. After seeking therapy for my confused, overwhelming and crazy feelings I was introduced to the term Gaslighting. Still not fully understanding the term, I stumbled across this book & it has given me so many answers to what I was feeling & why. It was like listening to someone talking about me & my relationship, such was the accuracy of the authors description of Gaslighting & the case studies / stories she presents.
I now understand the term Gaslighting, what it means and how it affects me. I understand what I’m experiencing & both my role and my partners role we each play in our unhealthy relationship. More importantly it has answered so many questions and given meaning to how I feel a lot of the time & reassurance that I’m not going crazy.
This book gives you strategies to stop the Gaslighting & turn the dynamics of your relationship around.
Thank you Dr Stern.
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7 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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- Miss J Cromar
- 21-09-21
Did it mention the word abuse at all?
Informative but don’t think it really deals with how devastating gaslighting can be. And I am still not quite clear as to what it is exactly.
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