Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
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Narrated by:
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Fred Berman
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By:
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L. G. Estrella
About this listen
Contains Books 1 and 2 of the Unconventional Heroes series.
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf, book 1:
Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf - it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
But that's easier said than done. He's a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.
It's a good thing that he's got some help: an obnoxious 10-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up. Wonderful.
Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord, book 2:
Two necromancers, an army of golems, and a demon lord - it sounds like a recipe for trouble, and for Timmy, it definitely is.
To earn his pardon and avoid horrible torture and/or gruesome execution, Timmy has to complete every mission the Council throws his way, most of which seem to involve extremely scary things trying to kill him. At least he’s got help - sort of. His help consists of an apprentice with designs on his castle (and her plans may or may not involve overthrowing him), a bureaucrat whose two greatest skills are fainting in the face of trouble and using people (usually Timmy) as human shields, and an elf with the world's worst case of pyromania and enough magic to level a mountain.
Somehow, Timmy's got to get this bunch of unconventional heroes to work together. Trouble is coming, and it's trouble of the kind that only a necromancer like Timmy could possibly find himself in the middle of.
©2014 L. G. Estrella (P)2020 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
What listeners say about Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- jo
- 03-01-24
Great Humour
Buy it .it's fabulous wrote a long review and it got deleted I raved an raved it's humourous, clever and adult without throbbing Elvin bits or boobies on dwarves. it's really exciting the language is expensive extensive not repetitive and the characters are original I love the chef ninja rats.i love the elf with a bad personality disorder it's worth three credits so at one you got a genius bargain you wouldn't want to miss this better than prachetts disc world as it's grown up an a lot funnier. Just be careful or the seven year old necromantic necromancer she is scary cute and makes the best zombies.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Kaz Whymark
- 02-04-22
KAZ 🇬🇧 Good 📖 Worth a credit 💙😃
This was such a really good audiobook it's character's are brilliant loved 💜 everything about them from the historical spell hysterical zombie🧟♂️ creation's they throw together that sometime's go incredibly wrong & try to kill the master necromancer & who's apprentice a young girl can actually make better zombie creature's like her collection of ninja rat's 🐀 so funny 🤣 There's lot's of magic being used troll's crazy elve's that enjoy's beating most anything & anyone she See's just so much more to long to write but if you like to laugh 😂 & are into all the other stuff you'll fall in love ❤️ with this fantastic book 📖 Definitely a 4+ out of 5 on my scale will be buying more from this author AWESOME 😎💙😃
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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- Nicola Fairhall
- 22-04-22
Great book
So funny, and imaginative. I love a good giggle and this book definitely came through. Will definitely read the next one.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dan
- 06-08-22
unexpected
an unexpectedly entertaining journey. the book has invisible ninja rats. say that last sentence out loud and slowly.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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- Direwolf
- 02-02-23
Good fun
Good fun and great use of comedy, still smile at the thought of necromancy in Pink
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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- PETER BROOKS
- 09-02-23
Enjoyable and well narrated
Pacy well narrated a fun story made easy listening. It was much better than I expected from the title.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- MISS ZL OATES
- 10-12-22
Fantastic
Brilliant and so funny. I really didn't want it to end. I would totally recommend it
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amabel Thornton
- 12-07-23
An enjoyable story of unconventional heroes
Got this as it was included with Audible membership and the synopsis sounded like my kind of story and I was right. Lots of comedy moments in these well crafted tales, the characters are a lot of fun and the narration is great.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Sally Goddard
- 18-08-23
Querky and fun to listen to
It wasn't how I expected, it's narration was qwerky and fun. The characters are great and the voices spot on.
It's not a deep thinking book but one that will get you considering what you would make!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Tunni
- 07-09-23
Something a bit different and crazy silly
I got this one free and listened to it on a whim, but enjoyed it so much that I've started buying the rest of the series. I love fantasy, but find that there's a lot terrible books in that genre. It's really refreshing to find a story that's imaginative, has great characters and a good story (not your typical damsel in distress nonsense). The main character is a shovel wielding necromancer with a real sense of humour, but there are also some fantastic female characters (not in an aggressive feminist way). On the whole, it's well written and totally stupid, in the best way possible. The narration is fantastic too. Each character is clearly distinguishable and he picks up on the dry humourous tone of the book brilliantly. Can't wait to carry on with the rest of the series!
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