Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

Preview
  • How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

  • By: Luke Smitherd
  • Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
  • Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (954 ratings)

£0.00 for first 30 days

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

By: Luke Smitherd
Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
Try for £0.00

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £14.99

Buy Now for £14.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Summary

From the author of the international best-seller The Stone Man, shortlisted for Audible UK's Book of the Year Award 2015.

In the late 1990s, a laptop was found in a service station just outside of Manchester. It contained a digital journal entitled 'TO THE FINDER: OPEN NOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!' Now, for the first time, that infamous diary is being published in its entirety.

It's 1998. The Internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen-year-old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante.

There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget? And will his history of blackouts and crippling social inadequacy affect his chances? This is Nigel's account of his journey; part diary, part deluded self-help manual, tragically comic and slowly descending into what is arguably Luke Smitherd's darkest and most violent novel.

What do you believe in? And more importantly, should you?

©2016 Luke Smitherd (P)2016 Luke Smitherd
activate_Holiday_promo_in_buybox_DT_T2

Listeners also enjoyed...

A Head Full of Knives: An Urban Fantasy Novel cover art
The Stone Man - A Science Fiction Thriller, Book 1 cover art
You See the Monster cover art
In the Black Room cover art
WEIRD. DARK. cover art
Kill Someone cover art
Hold on Until Your Fingers Break cover art
Tales of the Unusual cover art
The Man with All the Answers cover art
The Physics of the Dead cover art
The Man on Table Ten cover art
The Worldship Humility cover art
14 cover art
The Stranger Times cover art
The Good Samaritan cover art
Ruritanian Rogues: Volumes 1-3 cover art

What listeners say about How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    540
  • 4 Stars
    272
  • 3 Stars
    95
  • 2 Stars
    31
  • 1 Stars
    16
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    624
  • 4 Stars
    198
  • 3 Stars
    57
  • 2 Stars
    9
  • 1 Stars
    7
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    482
  • 4 Stars
    262
  • 3 Stars
    98
  • 2 Stars
    39
  • 1 Stars
    14

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Classic Smitherd!

Another Luke Smitherd book devoured in less than 48 hours.. what more can I say! Really enjoying this author and the themes he explores, always keeps you guessing.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

intruiging

first audio book that has angered me shocked me made me cry dislike author love author

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great listen. Brilliantly read

Luke. You have to read your own books. Best narration on audible in ages. Read with passion and Character depth Thank you. Excuse typos, typing in the sun

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Oddly Disturbing - but Well Worth Reading!

I really like the works of Luke Smitherd. Unfortunately though I didn't immediately take to this story... and then I realised that it was because it wasn't sitting comfortably with me. Luke has managed to successfully write a first person story, without any 2nd or 3rd person perspective. My discomfort was the same as reading someone's personal diary - and I guess that is exactly where the author is coming from. I ended up really enjoying this book, and a month after reading it, I am still oddly disturbed by it. Well done Luke - once again, thank you!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

realism

really engaged with it and amazing story telling. Found it a bit too real and harrowing at points if anything!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Not like anything else I've listened to.

What made the experience of listening to How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary the most enjoyable?

The story goes off in an unexpected direction. Luke is actually a good narrator as well.

What other book might you compare How to Be a Vigilante: A Diary to, and why?

Nothing compares. It's one of a kind, although the author self references the movie kick ass as similar, but released after the book

Which character – as performed by Luke Smitherd – was your favourite?

Nigel.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Yes. Can't say or it will give the book away.

Any additional comments?

Made me feel very uncomfortable. But in a good way.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious, tragic, sympathetic

Nigel, a young supermarket employee, writes his guide into how to become a superhero akin to Batman. Nigel doesn't really have the typical superhero qualities- he's not much of a fighter and he's not very brave- but that doesn't stop him donning a mask and patrolling Derbyshire market towns and (partially successfully) breaking up fights. He does struggle to gauge what use of force might be proportionate to use against the offenders but Nigel feels that his violence is justified. Eventually though, his naivety and gung ho attitude comes back to bite him and he is left with a serious situation on his hands.
It took me an hour to become engrossed in this book. To begin with I felt like it ridiculed autistic spectrum disorders but quickly realised that it is actually a sympathetic representation which is conveyed in a hilarious way. The tale told by Nigel is tragic but i frequently laughed out loud throughout the book especially when picturing the outfits and behaviour of the Night Man in his earlier days. Later on in the book his account is so sad I had tears in my eyes. There is plenty of graphic violence in this book so avoid if you are sensitive to that.
I loved that the author narrated his own book. Who better to tell the tale?

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

This is surprisingly amazing

I love this! I was out of ideas of what to use my credits on and this showed up in recommended. I gave it a whirl out of boredom, gave it a listen and got instantly bored and abandoned it. (Attention span of a goldfish)

Over Christmas, being again bored and as usual, out of credits, I restarted this audiobook with low expectations.

As before, I found the beginning chapters to be dreary and unpromising. I listened allowing my fickle concentration to wander but a few chapters in, I was captured. I discovered the initial blandness to be misleading, those first chapters in fact being an artfully executed crescendo, building to a deliciously disquieting zenith.

So my advice: buy this book. Stick with it. Then listen again.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Another great read by Luke

A great listen, cringeworthy at times, but great writing and a solid concept.

Looking forward to more of his books.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Comically dark

Needed a chapter or two to get into it, but really enjoyed it. This is written in diary form, can't count how many times I muttered idiot at the Heroes interpretation of events. Very funny in places also very dark. Great read from the author.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful