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The Haunted Forest Tour

By: Jeff Strand, James A. Moore
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
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Summary

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.

Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!

Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.

We promise.

©2007 James A. Moore and Jeff Strand (P)2018 Tantor
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What listeners say about The Haunted Forest Tour

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

brilliant story totally unbelievable but great fun

not too scary or gory but an interesting twist to the genre. it was obvious a simple team ride would be easy but a nice twist took place

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Talk about a terrifying tour!

This book answered all my requests for a seriously scary horror. It's one of those books you can read, knowing you're at home, safe, and it doesn't really exist! I think if I'd been there, I'd have had a heart attack before anything else could happen to me! I read a reviewer on Amazon, and I totally agree. After reading the tour guide blurb on the cover, I just had to read it! I love haunted houses etc, but that is something else! There were parts which made me cry, without giving away any spoilers! I also really like Jo Hempel, the fact I think he has a nice voice aside, he is a very good narator, and he really brings this to life, and you could almost believe you were watching it all happen. Although nowa days with health and safety, I don't think this would ever happen in real life, even if such a thing existed! I asked myself before reading, would I go on this tour? Answer is, probably not, as I'm blind so wouldn't see anything, but would I even if I could? To be honest, I don't care how safe their trams are, answer is probably still no! You want a horror book which doesn't skimp on the detail, read this. It doesn't take long to get started! I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves horror! But don't read before sleep! Enjoy!

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21 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A little corny but enjoyable

I honestly picked this one at random it sounded a little corny but I honestly enjoyed it, the narration was good. I would chalk it up to a nice simple listen.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Reasonable read, but not great.

Delighted to have recently discovered Jeff Strand. Just read Wolf hunt 1 & 2 and they were fantastic. The narration was also top class on them. 5 star. This was my third book, co written but less humour than the first two. Just bought Cyclops Road.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Not your normal story

Ok so I was gripped. I was hoping for happy ever after but this book is a real gripping listen.
Read well

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The Jurassic Park for horror fans

This book was very cool. So long as you think horror stories with a dark sense of humour and grizzly dememberments are cool. I do. If you like Evil Dead 2 then you'll probably enjoy this. I'm not saying Evil Dead 2 is anything like this book. only that it would have the same amount of blood and gore and probably leave you smirking wickedly from time to time. Enjoy.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Very dark, but enjoyable monster-romp.

Disclaimer: I was provided a copy of the book free of charge in exchange for an honest review.

For once, I was pretty sure what I'd get when I started this book, and I was not disappointed.

Trapped in a forest that appeared suddenly several years ago when a tour goes wrong, the tourists have to try and survivor relentless attacks while seeking a means of escape.

Now there's not a lot to this book beyond the running, screaming and dying. Characters are not hugely deep or developed and, while there is more going on than first appears the case, the overall story was quite shallow, but this is not to say it's a bad thing.

For one, the monsters are brilliantly described and imaginative. I found myself thinking of the Devil-Man Manga at times due to the vastly different types of creature and they always entertained. Secondly, while not all well developed, there were one or two characters I was rooting for, and the book pulls no punches on who lives and who dies.

All this screaming, and crying and dying would be irrelevant without a good narrator and Joe Hempel does a fabulous job of voices everyone, be them a child, man or woman or terrifying creature. Each one is identifiable and different and he presents emotions really well making for a great thrill ride.

In the end though, this book will come down to taste. If you like horrific deaths and an oft sense of hopelessness then this book is for you but, if you expect a Jurassic Park style tale of danger and whimsy, this may not be for you.

Thoroughly enjoyable jaunt through a monster infested forest and, being a standalone, has a very clear story that it fulfills very nicely.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

what's not to like?

monsters, gore, action and humor what's not to like I hope I find more like it

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Was great until...

Narrator is excellent. Story was going good until roughly halfway when suddenly it became jarringly clunky. So jarring that, after struggling through said chapter, I had to stop.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Jurassic Park with monsters

A pretty average horror pulp story. It's got cool cover art that inspires a lot of hope for the story that never really delivers. It's ok, but not great.

Biggest pro is the premise, the biggest draw back is juggling a lot of characters who are pretty wafer thin - and that's not just the dozen odd characters introduced in the same scene they die in just to up the book's massive body count. Even main characters sometimes died without me realising who was who.

Still, for a Halloween listen it's ok, and I'll likely listen to it again one day. An average 3/5.

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